Slow Spinning Redemption
by AlinaLotus
Summary: He was only agreeing to this ridiculous plan for his brother's sake. But if it made Darcy Lewis look at him like he wasn't from the very depths of a nightmare, well, so be it.
1. Chapter 1

**So this takes place after the first Avengers, before any of the events in T:TDW. I have kept some nuances, like Jane smacking Loki when they first meet, little bits like that.**

 **Also Loki is a bit more accepting of Thor in this. He's more emotionally along shall we say, simply because I know I can't write him that well *cries*. I know this whole fic is probably one big cliché, but that's life kiddos.**

 **Warnings are language and adult situations. Do enjoy.**

 _Oh no, did I get too close oh?_ _  
_ _Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?_

Darcy was breathing loudly next to him. It grated on his skin, a dagger slice to each of his nerves. _Why_ couldn't humans do anything quietly?

"Fuck, this sucks." She muttered, and though he remained silent, he concurred. To be in this little metal contraption, in the dark, for who knew how long...a hellish experience to say the least. So much for the famed riches of Tony Stark. The man couldn't even have properly working technology in a building he himself owned. When Fury had moved the operation into a Stark compound, Loki at least thought the basics would have been guaranteed.

"Where are the fucking lights? God, SHIELD is so useless." Well, he certainly wouldn't be arguing _that_ point with her. He was little more than a prisoner, though without the cage. He tapped his finger lightly on the metal cuff on his leg, under the ankle of his boot. No cage but still kept track of, like an animal in the wild, the illusion of free will dangled in front of him when truthfully he was the star of their twisted little reality show.

"I'm going to kill Jane. I don't care if she loves her work, or how important it is. I don't even like it that much. God, she's dead. Loki, are you listening? She. Is. Dead."

Loki sighed. "Yes Darcy, I, and every other person in the entire two block radius, heard you."

It hadn't been that horrible, to be frank. After his capture, Thor had made the decision for him to stay first on earth and pay for his crimes, rather then sending him directly to Asgard. Fury had given him a bit of slack on the leash, no doubt in an effort to keep on friendly terms with Thor, and he had been authorized to consult Jane on her continuing work for SHIELD. His quarters were on the floor below the lab she was working in, and though he wasn't allowed to go anywhere else in the building and most definitely not outside of it, it made for a welcome change from the glass cage he'd previously been in at Fury's hands.

In the time since then, Thor had been earnest and eager when it came to their relationship. Having time to reflect, Loki had come to the basic conclusion that his anger rested not with Thor- after all, he'd had no true idea of Loki's parentage either- but with Odin. Thor was here, trying to help him, and as his friends were in drastic short supply, Loki was softer in regards to his brother than he usually would have been. Though he wasn't exactly thrilled to admit this, he did take Thor's efforts to rehabilitate him more to heart.

Not that he'd ever truly be "saved", at least not in the pure sense that Thor was after, but there had to be _something_ left in him, if there were people willing to give him a second chance. Perhaps the bad would always outweigh the good, and his past actions were blatantly unforgivable, and perhaps one day Thor would see that. However, he had the chance to live in the _now_ , and he would seize that while he could.

Loki was not fool enough to believe that he could remain here, away from Asgard, forever. No doubt Odin would construct a truly hellish punishment, one where which, in the end, Loki would beg for death. There was not much to look forward to. A sentence on Midgard did not seem so bad in comparison to what awaited him.

He never spoke more than was necessary, and he certainly wasn't on friendly terms with Jane or Darcy. But he had learnt to coexist with them. They were rather entertaining, if truth be told. Well, Darcy was, at least. With her vulgar language that often made Jane blush, her loud music, and her refusal to fall in line with every one of Fury's directives. Still, he had made it clear that he was the monster under the bed and they were to fear him. They weren't to trust him, and though Thor treated him as he had when they were children, he sensed that Jane and Dacry- and the whole of SHIELD- still hadn't put the whole New York fiasco behind them. Well, they could join the line.

Darcy had been somewhat hesitant to get on the elevator, when she realized it would just be the two of them. He still made her uncomfortable. He didn't know if he was glad about that or not, and this confusion alone angered him. She had taken a deep breath, as though steeling herself, and stepped inside, immediately reaching for the hand rail. He wondered why she hadn't opted to take the stairs, but if she were off on an errand, thirty flights of stairs probably wasn't her idea of a good time.

The look on her face as the elevator came to a complete stand still, and the lights began to flicker, was enough to arouse sympathy even in him. She was truly and utterly terrified. Usually, the fear of others elated him. For some reason, he just felt... _bad_ for her. And then, the breathing had started. She'd slid down onto the floor, and unconsciously, he'd joined her. Blindly, in the dark, she'd reached out for him, grabbing his arm (thank the Allfather that's _all_ she could reach).

Gods, it'd been so long since he'd felt somebody touch him, somebody other than his mother or Thor. That somebody on this forsaken planet wasn't repulsed by him, had in fact reached for him, caused a lump to form in his throat.

He cocked his head to the side, eyeing her. Here she was, a mere mortal, a weakling, so puny and small under his metaphorical boot...she was, ah, what was the term? _Freaking out_. Having a full blown panic attack, and she hadn't tried to hide it from him. The hand that grasped his arm was like a vice.

Why would she do this? Display so much vulnerability to him, of all people? It was unwise to reveal a weakness to an enemy.

"Talk, dammit. Say something." Her voice came out cracked, in between raspy breaths.

He raised an eyebrow. "What would you have me speak about?"

She shook her head, her grip on him tighter, if anything. "Anything. Your voice...it helps."

And that's when it dawned on him.

She didn't think of him as her enemy.

 **oooo**

"Darce!" Jane was waiting with the crew when they pried the doors open, and the workers reached for Darcy first. He watched as Darcy returned Jane's hug before turning, waiting for Loki to climb out.

He did so with as much grace as he could, and when he strode past her, he caught a smile from her. He felt the corner of his mouth twitch, his instinct to return the gesture. Jane watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow, but then Darcy was gone, and Jane turned to follow Loki to the lab.

"So you survived your first Darcy Lewis panic attack, huh?" Jane said, as the guard at the door let them both in.

Loki shrugged once, making no reply.

"Well I just hope you didn't say anything to her." Jane chuckled. "once, Erik tried to talk her down, and she punched him in the face."

Against his will, Loki turned to Jane, his expression interested.

"It's true," Jane nodded, "broke his nose. If he wouldn't have touched her, it probably wouldn't have been so bad. Course, he was just trying to help. Actually I'm surprised that she even took the elevator," Jane mused, opening the top drawer of her desk and searching inside for something, "she hates them."

Loki thought back to when the doors opened and Darcy stood there, that sick look on her face. Had it been the elevator itself, and not him, that she was displeased with? And clearly his voice hadn't brought her to violence (though he was sure Darcy was not the first person to punch Selvig in the face), and though he most certainly hadn't initiated any physical contact, Darcy had held onto him as though he were the only thing keeping her grounded. A conundrum indeed.

"Ah, here we are." Jane held out a Polaroid picture for Loki to take.

It was a picture of Selvig, his nose bent at on odd angle, blood spurting from both his nostrils. Again, against his will, Loki found himself far more intrigued than he should be. He vaguely wondered if Jane smacking him upon their first meeting was because of her friend's influence. Darcy indeed had some fire in her, something he always appreciated.

"She's..." Loki trailed off, and Jane chuckled again, giving a knowing nod. "Yep, one of a kind, our Darce."

Loki couldn't bring himself to disagree.

 **oooo**

Sometimes, Darcy loved everything about herself. She was damn proud of how far she'd come in her life. She'd graduated near the top of her class, her shiny degree proudly displayed on the wall behind her computer at the lab. She'd survived a goddamn alien attack on her planet, she'd met people from another realm, and she even considered herself a close and personal friend of the prince of Asgard.

Well, _one_ of them, anyway. She would have very much liked to say that she and Loki were as close as she and Thor, but that would be a big fat fudging lie. Sure Loki _tolerated_ her, as most people eventually learned to. But that was probably more because of the small amount of freedom Director Fury had given him, and he didn't want to tip the scales too much back out of that favor.

But, he had been cool about the, uh, incident in the elevator. She had no idea why small spaces like that freaked her out. It had been something that hadn't started to really bother her until college, and then it'd gotten a million times worse when she started working for Jane. She really should've taken the stairs, but if she had waited until she'd gotten back from the usual noon coffee run to take the elevator (she was _so_ not tripping up thirty some odd flights of stairs in her new boots and with armful of coffee in the name of science, thanks), it would've been so much worse. So brilliant plan as usual, Darce, she scolded herself as the elevator doors slid open. She was glad that she wasn't in it alone, especially once the piece of shit had gotten stuck. Oh man, she was sending Happy, Tony, Coulson, and Pepper a memo about that _now_.

And other times, Darcy hated that she had no filter. She'd tried to be better, these past few years, but taking everything so seriously all the time like Nick Fury did, man, she wasn't cut out for that. Life wasn't a party, she knew, but what was the point if you couldn't laugh at yourself- and everybody else? She knew she joked more than she should, and though her work was top-notch, her professionalism was, to say the least, super lacking. But she worked hard, and even if a lot of people didn't think so, she was smart. Had to be. She couldn't just flash a pretty smile in size two jeans and get what she wanted, a truth she'd learned to accept long ago. So she made do in other ways, in her own ways. Often, that led to, simply, disaster. As it had in this case.

Tears stung at her eyes, and she felt like she wanted to punch something. Or someone. Either would do. She hadn't exactly expected to get anywhere with Steve, no, he was too _wholesome_ , and honestly, her advances had mostly been rooted in jokes, but his blatant rejection still made her cringe. Thank god nobody was around to see her humiliation. How would she face him ever again? Well, she couldn't have good ol' Captain America thinking he'd really effected her.

The cocktail party was just a gathering of, you know, earth's finest heroes and those who worked tirelessly behind the scenes to keep their world safe. All of the Avengers were there, and she'd met them on several occasions, even chatted with them. Dare she say she considered some of them her friends? So her off the collar remark about whether the rest of Cap was as solid as his shield, well, it didn't hit the hilarity mark as much as she hoped it would.

Steve had taken her aside and told her, very clearly, that he wasn't interested in her like that. He was nice about it, of course, as if he'd be anything else. He was her friend, but _just_ that, and she shouldn't be worrying about that anyway, not with the important work Jane was doing. That's where her focus should be. Ah, Jane. Of course. It was always Jane, wasn't it? Or, at the very least, Jane's work. She'd left him before he could start in on a lecture about patriotism and helping others, or what the hell ever he felt he needed to hop on his soap box for.

She sighed. This was _so_ not the life she pictured for herself when Jane had begged her to come along to SHIELD. Her poli-sci degree had proved useless so far, but working with Jane had brought her a sense of fulfillment, that maybe somehow she was contributing to the cause.

Now she wasn't even sure what that cause was. Aliens, gods, superheros, Nick Fury and his security paranoia (not that she could really blame him). She didn't think her inputting Jane's data, doing coffee runs, and basically just being Jane's shoulder to cry on while Thor was away, was doing much good for the world. But she stayed because Jane was her family, and working for SHIELD was better than going back to Butthole, New Mexico to listen to her parents gripe about how she should've either become a doctor or married one.

She'd found a quiet alcove, so when Jane interrogated her later about disappearing, she could at least say she'd still been at the party, just out of the way. Jane typically knew when Darcy was lying, so she did her best to keep to the truth enough that Jane wouldn't worry too much. If Jane knew how humiliated Darcy was, she'd march off and slap Steve Rogers herself, although Darcy sure as hell wouldn't mind seeing that!

"Jane will be looking for you." He shook her out of her reverie, approaching her so quietly that she hadn't heard him until he was right in front of her.

Ever princely, Loki had worn a pair of soft, leather pants, boots to his knees, and a deep emerald tunic with gold embroidery. His long hair was tucked behind his ears, brushing his collar. She had to admit that _damn,_ they knew how to make them in Asgard. Or Jotunheim, in this case.

"Nah, she's two glasses of wine in and probably draped over her boy toy at this point."

Loki's grimace told her she was right; ha! Did she know her friends or what?

"Well, one must wonder what the usual life of the party is doing on her own."

Darcy shrugged. "I just...needed some air. And I'm not, you know. Not really. I don't actually like parties all that much."

"You?" Loki raised an eyebrow.

"It's true! Although I am hilarious and who wouldn't want to get down with this?" But her voice lacked any real conviction. It was this that caused Loki to hesitate for only a second before taking a seat next to her.

"Well, perhaps the rest of this, ah, _crew_ , will be alright for a few moments. Miss Potts and Jane seemed to be giving a valiant effort at crowd control."

"If only we could all be Janes or Peppers instead of lowly, insignificant Darcys." Darcy rolled her eyes good-naturedly, but Loki sensed some underlying bitterness to her words. He gave her a long look, noting that her eyes seemed rather wet, and that her pallor was flushed. He jolted himself; why did he care so much? If nobody else was bothered about her, why in Valhalla should he be?

"I know that sounds _so_ mature. And I should be happy to be here, right?" She turned to him, awed, as always, by his height. She had to look over and up to meet his eyes, surprised by what she saw there. He was actually listening to her. Not mocking her, not regarding her like a spoiled kid. She saw no pity, of course, but there was permission. Permission to talk, permission to _feel_.

"Jane picked me, you know? I mean, out of everybody and anybody she could have wanted to work with her, she picked me! It's flattering. And I love her, we totally have that sisters vibe going on. But this place, with all these people who aren't just people, you know what I mean? I don't think it's my scene at all."

"That," Loki said, giving her his trademark mischievous smirk, "is not a bad thing." Darcy held his green stare for a moment, trying to swallow down the butterflies that unexpectedly fluttered against her rib cage. _Not a good train of thought, Darce..._

"God I sound so pathetic! Yuck. I'd better get a drink or something. Or a pizza. Yes, pizza."

"Well I don't think Tony Stark (Darcy noted this name came out dripping with sarcasm, and it made her smile, just a little) would serve pizza at one of his famed cocktail parties, but I believe I did see a table of hors d'ourves just around the corner."

"Ugh, that involves walking." Darcy indicated the high heels she was wearing. Loki averted his eyes, trying not to follow the length of her pale leg up to the short hem of her dress. She looked...different, more made-up, then she did in a daily basis in the lab. Of course she did, it was a party, after all. All of them were far more formal than usual. It was odd, but he sort of missed her glasses and preferred knit head wear.

He wondered what Darcy could see in Jane and Pepper that would ever be better than herself, as was clear from her own words. Certainly they were different in their _shapes_ , Darcy shorter in stature and more voluptuous than either Jane or Potts. Her midriff, as he'd seen on more than one occasion as she reached to a high cupboard or filling cabinet, was not entirely flat under the waist of her usual jeans, and her chest was far more ample than either woman. He wondered if this was what she was referring to, and if she would ever consider those negative things. Did she not know how truly lovely she was?

And just when, exactly, had he begun to think so? His lip curled and he crossed his arms over his chest. Ha! Him, thinking anything of the sort about a Midgardian? Honestly, this entire planet was affecting his sense of reason.

"Maybe if-" Darcy began but Loki shook his head curtly, already knowing where her train of thought was going.

"I will _not_ carry you."

Darcy mock glared at him. "Party pooper." She muttered under her breath, before slipping her heels off and carrying them in one hand. "See if I bring you any pigs in a blanket."

The born and bred gentleman inside him (yes, it was still there, just under the thirst for ultimate power, for battle) was just about to rise and offer to get the food for her when she turned back, giving him a slow smile over her shoulder. Her eyes were clear, now, her full lips a feast for his eyes.

For the first time since he came to Midgard, Loki grinned back.

 **oooo**

Though he would admit (grudgingly, and not without the assistance of an air sick bag) that Jane and Thor were probably the closest definition to soul mates in any of the realms, he thought the Jane Fosters of this world- and any other- were too... _easy_. Of course she was beautiful. One looking at her could not help but notice that. She had made a lasting name for herself in the intellectual community, and was loyal, and a host of other things that Loki, even with all his distaste towards her race, could recognize.

But she was no challenge, no puzzle. There were no layers to Jane Foster, and perhaps that was something Thor liked about her. His brother was open like that; what you see is what you get. It stood to reason that the woman he loved would be the same. Pepper was perhaps more a mystery than Jane, but clearly much more inclined to psychosis. Only somebody severely deranged (and he was an expert on the matter, he liked to think) could be in love with Tony Stark. Pepper was undoubtedly a very powerful woman, running nearly the entirety of a conglomerate and doing so brilliantly (though he would never admit that to her face). Loki was one to respect (behind closed doors, obviously) power.

So, even though Darcy was right where Jane and Pepper's significance were concerned, she was most certainly wrong about her own worth. Darcy was no Jane, no Pepper, no _anybody_ but herself, and therein lied the most important thing Loki needed, and was more, _wanted_ , to know about her.

He was not sure where his clearly misplaced instinct to comfort her had come from. Perhaps it was because he saw something of himself in her- not truly belonging to the world you were thrust in. He knew it was foolish; she was not his to comfort and out of comfort came the desire to protect. Him, protect her? Protect anything? That was Thor's game, he and his Avengers. Loki did not protect. He brought destruction.

Everybody looked at him as some kind of monster, and he would readily agree with their assessments. However, very few stopped to think that possibly he himself had been manipulated and controlled. That Thanos had held a knife against his throat, just as he'd done to Earth's. Never mind that Barton himself had killed plenty, under the same noose that Loki was. No, it was much simpler for them to paint him as a truly evil mastermind, the plain-as-day enemy.

Except, Darcy did not feel that way, did she? Not only had she trusted him in a moment of fear, she had in fact sought his comfort. Their typical work days were not so unpleasant, and though she spoke the most out of anybody he had ever met, the chatter was not unwelcome. Jane's attempts at conversation were well and good, but one did not want to hear about Midgardian science the whole day.

If he had to deduce it, to place a label to it, Darcy Lewis was worth more than any other human he'd met so far.

 **oooo**

Ugh, she was so stupid. Darcy Lewis, fuck up extraordinaire. Not only had she completely embarrassed herself and ruined what could have been a nice friendship with Steve, but now she'd practically sobbed on Loki's shoulder!

Which was worse? she mused, as she got out of the private car Tony had placed at her disposal. The driver held the door open and watched as she got safely inside the lobby of her apartment building. All SHIELD employees lived within a five mile radius of the office, and though Fury would prefer everybody to live on-site, Darcy just couldn't stand being cooped up in the place she worked 24/7. As a compromise, Fury had security on her building around the clock, but she wasn't really complaining. Couldn't be too careful these days.

It struck her that one of the villains they were all so scared of, so worried about, well, she might just have developed the _teensiest_ , _tinieist,_ crush on. Loki had listened to her, had actually found her at the party, which was more than she could say for any of her other friends. Thor and Jane were understandably wrapped up in each other, but Happy and Maria were people she considered to be close with. She'd often got caught up talking with Dr. Cho as well, when they ran into each other near the coffee pot or vending machines. She thought, once more, of Loki's green eyes and cunning smirk, and of the genuine smile he'd given her as she went to get food for herself. In all the months he'd been on earth, in all the days she'd seen him, he'd never smiled that like.

Yeah. Teeniest crush.

Ugh, she was so stupid.

 **lyrics used are from Unconditionally by Katy Perry.**


	2. Dibbs

_If you've got a Friday night free and a shotgun seat  
Well I'm just saying, I ain't got nowhere to be  
So baby I'll take whatever it is you've got to give..._

Darcy woke up to the buzz of her cell, cursing the damn thing but having learned to answer it anyway, even if it was at an ungodly hour. It usually was, as Jane was frequently off to remote parts of the world and didn't bother about time zones, and Maria Hill certainly didn't care if it was the middle of the night. Duty called, end of story.

"I'm going to kill you." Darcy mumbled into the phone after answering it.

"I miss you too. Listen, I'm in Norway with Erik, we need-"

"Wow, the guy disappears and calls you first? Thanks Erik. Remind me to punch you in the face again when I see you." Darcy heard some muttering on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, he sends his love. Anyway Darce, this is really important. I need you to head over to the lab-"

"Whoa, what? Have Muscles beam you back! It's four in the morning, Jane!" Darcy argued, glancing at the digital alarm clock on the side of her bed. It read 03:58. Jane was _toast_ when she saw her next.

"That's the thing, Thor isn't here right now. He had to go help Tony and Bruce with something. You know how vague they are, and I didn't ask too many questions."

Darcy was already pulling on some clothes and searching for her favorite beanie. While Jane chatted on, she was plotting ways to demand a raise. She'd probably have to go straight to Maria or Pepper, as Jane was too much of an air head to care about something like paychecks.

"So it's in the black box on the counter, I just need you to make a slight adjustment to it and then send me some simple calculations." Jane finished, as Darcy was squeezing toothpaste onto her toothbrush.

"Right, calculations..." she trailed off doubtfully.

"It's no big deal, easy as pie. I'll text you exactly what to do, I have a meeting with Erik and-"

The call cut out, which was something that was fairly normal. Jane didn't normally work in civilization, and though Tony and SHIELD had the very best technology available and would've given her a phone with coverage no matter where the hell she was, she'd never made the switch, preferring her dinky little flip phone that rarely got more than two bars of service.

"Ugh, Mondays." Darcy mumbled as she pulled on her boots and grabbed her bag. She was about to buzz the doorman to ask him to call for a car when there was a knock on her door.

"Ms. Lewis, your ride is here." Darcy swung the door open, smiling at Esau, who was probably the nicest person she'd ever met.

He had worked in lobby of the Stark Industries building for Howard, and upon his death, Esau had contemplated retirement. Tony begged him not to- he'd practically been an uncle to him while he was growing up. Darcy had a sneaking suspicion that Tony considered Esau more a father than the man who gave him life. Tony gave Esau the pick of whatever job he'd like, promising to send him to school, if necessary, but Esau needed to be around people, to interact with them, to help them. He claimed he was too salt-of-the-earth to be at a desk or in a lab. He liked working the door- it was important to see everything. So after New York, when Stark Industries had broken into the real estate game, Tony had made Esau the concierge and doorman of Darcy's building.

"You're a life-saver," Darcy said, taking the steaming Styrofoam cup of coffee Esau held out to her.

"I know," He said, taking her bag from her and leading the way to the elevator. He punched in the code for the lobby, and they zoomed down. A car was already waiting, and Darcy pecked Esau on the cheek as he held the door open for her.

The driver seemed as dismayed at being awake at this ungodly hour as she was, so she was spared the small talk she usually enjoyed. As they got closer to the building, Darcy wondered if Jane had thought to call Loki as well.

 **oooo**

"I wish you could come." Darcy heard Steve's voice, filled with something that was almost anguish. There was silence, then the pouring of coffee. The gossip in her stopped, standing perfectly still. Just _who_ was Steve Rogers so torn about leaving behind? The building was practically deserted this early, with only the security team out in full numbers. She'd been buzzed through and patted down, the usual, but hadn't seen any other employees. She was just coming up on a small break alcove, one of many scattered throughout the main floors.

"The Director wants some of us here. Gotta cover the bases." She heard Sam Wilson reply and Darcy's eyes widened in surprise.

"I know. I just..." More silence. Then, the unmistakable shuffle of bodies, and Darcy chanced a peek around the corner. Steve had Sam in what could only be described a passionate embrace, their foreheads touching.

"Be careful." Sam said, and Steve chuckled.

"Took the words right out of my mouth." Steve kissed him, then, and Darcy felt like an even bigger idiot for ever holding anything against him for their earlier run-in. God, how had she missed _this_? Now that she thought about it, Sam and Steve were often seeking each other out, and she saw them together all the time- in the cafeteria, the hallways, going in to meetings together. She had just assumed that they were best friends- that all of them were. If ever a group of people had boundary issues, it was definitely The Avengers. Hello, dysfunction! Not that she was judging, of course. She considered them to be a family, and what family didn't have its issues? However, it appeared that _much_ more was going on.

She sensed their moment wrapping up, and she quickly backtracked down the hallway, so it wouldn't appear as if she'd been eavesdropping. She busied herself with her phone as she saw Steve, dressed normally but with a full duffle bag over his shoulder, coming down towards her.

"Good morning Darcy," he said brightly, giving her a wide smile.

"And to you. Off to save the world?" She returned his smile with a warm one of her own.

"Hopefully nothing that dramatic. You're here early, aren't you?" Steve checked his watch.

Darcy nodded solemnly. "Right? Jane's insane! Still, duty calls." She gestured towards his bag.

"Well, good luck with whatever you're doing. And stay out of trouble."

Darcy smiled again, shaking her head. "No promises, Rogers. You know me, never a dull moment."

"Just try to keep it down then. And maybe, if I'm not back soon, keep an eye on Sam for me." Steve winked knowingly at her, then with a cheery wave was off, out the set of glass double doors and the hallway was once again abandoned.

So maybe she'd been dumb to think she could sneak up on an Avenger- two of them. But she was glad that her presence hadn't stopped Steve and Sam from expressing themselves, or their relationship. It wasn't all that surprising. Steve and Sam were both attractive, had the same sort of background. They appreciated the same things in life and had been through a lot of the same shit. It was common knowledge that Sam was Steve's right hand man, the one he trusted above anybody else. She wondered if anybody else knew. Surely they couldn't keep their attraction secret- they were literally smack dab in the middle of a super secret spy operation. But stranger things had happened, she supposed.

As she passed the break room, she glanced inside, and Sam held up his mug to her in greeting, as though waiting for her to pass. He didn't say anything, though, so she gave him the same grin she'd given Steve and hurried on to the lab.

 **oooo**

Jane, while undoubtedly brilliant, was incapable of organization, or putting things where she'd remember them. It was something Dacry had learned to deal with, usually going behind her boss like an old school marm, cleaning and cataloging and keeping track of everything. So the fact that the instrument, (Darcy thought _doo da thingy_ was a much more fitting name) wasn't where Jane had said it would be was not surprising. More than annoying this early on a Monday, but a fact of Darcy's life.

Though she didn't look it, Darcy was pretty organized and liked to keep things easy at first glance, so she typically color coordinated things. Colors were easier to remember than anything, and besides, she didn't understand half the shit Jane was talking about, so keeping things in alphabetical order wouldn't have done her much good. Jane was so scatterbrained that it was more of a chore than it was worth to try any other method anyhow.

So she was sifting through the brown and black cupboard when she finally found what Jane had wanted, and yep, there was the switchy button thing, and the "on" light was just on the side-

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Darcy shrieked, pain splitting through hand and up into her arm. She dropped the small black cylinder, wishing she had a hammer so she could bust the damn thing to smithereens, and clutched at her left wrist, her heart in her throat when her hand came away bloody.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy mother of god fucking shit! She probably had nicked an artery, the way the blood was pumping out of her, and oh god, she hated the feel of it, wet and thick and and she'd never get it out of her shirt, and this was her favorite one, too!

"Somebody!" She called, "anybody there? Help! I'm dying!" The room was silent, and through the glass doors of the lab she could see nobody in the hallway. So much for the security dicks who were supposed to be monitoring the CCTV at all times!

What the fuck! With all its tech, this building couldn't have had an intercom system? Or a, "pull in case of emergencies" lever? Oh shit, she was only in her twenties and she needed a life alert button! If she weren't in so much pain, she probably would've been laughing her ass off.

Oh god, this was it, wasn't it? She would die from blood loss, right here in this fucking lab, and all because _stupid, worthless_ science!

The blood was seeping through her shirt sleeve, and she felt lightheaded, her panic increasing. If only her trusty taser could help her now...

She staggered from the room, hoping to see a guard, or another employee of some kind, but of course, the ONE time in the whole history of SHIELD the place was practically deserted.

"Shit!" She gasped, as she stumbled- she could see a small trail of red behind her. She was bleeding worse than she thought. She needed to get help stat or she'd faint and just bleed out, and then where would Jane be? Jane would probably die without her!

She was on her knees now, trying to crawl with just one arm, when dark started to spread around the corners of her vision. Oh no, oh no oh no. This was _so_ not how she was dying, dammit!

She opened her mouth to give all her strength into a cry for help, and that's when the darkness pooled around her, covering everything.

 **oooo**

The sun was rising later and later as the season progressed. It was nearly mid-Autumn now, and out his window Loki could see the leaves changing, falling, dying. All grass had yellowed and browned, and everyone went about in scarves and pea coats. His closet contained a few pieces of designer wear just like those below- men's pants and button up shirts and a tailored jacket (how his measurements were known was beyond him, surely he'd never sat for a fitting for something so ridiculous). He also was in possession of a sweat suit, a pair of dress shoes, running shoes, and two sets of pajamas. Though he had yet to wear any of this Midgardian clothing, it was still nice to think his wardrobe was not completely empty.

Loki liked to wear his formal Asgardian clothes; it reminded him, and everybody else, that he was not of them. He was from another realm, and this was most certainly _not_ his home. Better off here than in Asgard or not, he still held the belief that Midgard was beneath him. It was rather annoying, as he knew this deep set thinking came from Odin, and he wanted nothing more than to rid himself of the Allfather in every way possible.

He checked the clock on the wall, deciding to start his morning. He was early, but sitting in his quarters was driving him mad. At least the lab would be a change of scenery, and he could busy himself, feel useful again.

There were things laid out on the counter when he arrived, his anklet acting as his security key card. The door slid open for him, and he noted Darcy's shoulder bag leaning against her computer. So she had been here already? That was odd, as Darcy was rarely an early riser. She was never late for work, but she had never been early, either. And that was when he saw it.

The bloodied edge of one of Jane's gadgets, a small trail of blood spots leading out of the lab's side door.

His stomach nearly dropped, and he strode quickly from the room, following the trail that zigzagged over the taupe carpet in the hallway, until he finally happened upon Darcy in a fainted heap. Unexplained relief washed over him, and though her breaths were shallow, she seemed to be alright. He picked her up, and seeing nobody else in sight, made his way back to his apartment.

 **oooo**

Darcy woke on an unfamiliar sofa in an unfamiliar room. The panic that she so vividly remembered started to rise in her throat again, but then she heard him, heard the voice that seemed to soothe her down to her bones.

"Stay still. You are not yet well enough."

His presence, as it had in the elevator, brought her a sense of peace and calm. She swallowed and laid back. Loki was kneeling next to her, still towering over her even on his knees. He had rolled the sleeve of her shirt up, and was working with a washcloth and water to clean the blood away from the gash.

Whoa, was this surreal or what? Loki, the one who mere months ago was hellbent on world domination and the subjugation of the human race, was helping her! He must've found her lifeless body in the hallway, which meant he'd brought her here, of his own choice. He was taking care of her! Just, whoa.

She watched him, his long, nimble fingers brushing along her skin as he finished cleaning the blood. He had a gauze wrap in his other hand, and he made quick work of binding the cut. Darcy bit her lip, wanting to protest the loss of his touch. Where was that coming from?! Small crush or not, she _so_ did not need to be harboring those kinds of thoughts about the super villain who was probably plotting mass destruction as she lay here on his couch.

 _But_...he could've left her in a sad little heap on the floor. He probably had gone to the lab early, and noticed the river of blood she'd left behind. That he went looking for her spoke volumes, didn't it? She'd worked at SHIELD long enough to know that not everybody there would be as considerate. Suddenly, Darcy felt ashamed of herself. She shouldn't assume the worst of _anybody._ The point of SHIELD and the Avengers was change. Every sentient being deserved the chance. And if Thor believed in Loki, why shouldn't she? Jane was beginning to befriend him, though that may have been out of desire to be around somebody who understood what the hell she was talking about- Darcy had little patience for Jane once she went all science fluent. Jane and Thor were two of the people she trusted most in this world. If Loki had their seal of approval, who was she to harbor the past against him?

"Hey," she reached up, without thinking (as usual) and lightly brushed her thumb across his cheek. He stilled, frozen, but he didn't pull away from her. "Thank you. You probably saved my life."

He held her gaze for what seemed an eternity, and she held her breath, watching his green eyes, wondering if she'd crossed the line and if he'd reel back in repulsion, demand she leave him alone, never speak to him again. Her heart pounded at the thought of, now, never being able to be this close to him again.

"When did you last eat?" He said at last, slowly standing.

Darcy thought. "Let's see, the food at the party...Saturday my hangover was not having any of it. Yesterday I slept most of the day, I mean after my mom called. She'd put you into a coma too, trust me. And then Jane begged me to come in and mess with some stupid shit, and her stupid metal spinny thing attacked me, so-"

Loki's eyes darkened with what appeared to be anger. "You have not eaten for two days?"

"I don't know, yeah? I guess. Not a big deal dude, I almost died!"

In spite of himself, Loki let out a small, amused breath. "You were fine. It seems you were more incapacitated by your panic than your actual cut. Though you did lose some blood, it was not enough to cause you lasting damage, and certainly not death."

"I saw my life flash before my eyes." Darcy argued, as Loki cleaned up the coffee table and went into the kitchen. She looked around at his apartment- it was next door to Jane and Thor's (she could only hope, for Loki's sake, that the walls were sound-proof), and nearly identical in layout. The furnishings were modern and comfortable, the far wall entirely made of glass, looking out onto the city. Unlike Thor and Jane's place, though, Loki's was immaculately clean. He probably even had hospital corners on his bed.

"Your anxiety does present a certain problem," Loki opened the stainless slate fridge and began pulling things out. Darcy sat up on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest. The counter top was raised, so she couldn't see what Loki was doing, but she heard what she thought was the crack of eggs and the sound of a whisk against the side of a bowl.

"Yeah, no shit. It's a nightmare. Wait, you meant for you, right?" Darcy added guiltily. Well, he had basically come to her rescue twice now, all because she couldn't keep her shit together.

Loki looked up, confusion on his face. "I was referring to your career."

"Oh."

That Loki hadn't tossed her on her ass out of his apartment, out of his life, yet, was almost as amazing as the fact that she was here in the first place.

"An agent for an organization like this who succumbs to debilitating panic attacks...did they not know of this when you were sought to work with Jane?"

"Well I'm not an agent, first off. More of an... assistant. Or something. And second, it didn't really get this bad until I came here. I dealt with it a bit in college, but here...I don't know, all these people around, all the pressure for Jane's work...I mean, it's small potatoes to be working in the desert with like, no funding, and then to come here with practically unlimited means. It sounds great, and it is. But there are lot of expectations, a lot of procedures, a lot of things to do and to be..." Darcy trailed off.

"Ah," Loki said, and she heard the sizzle of a frying pan, "you do not like a cage." Their eyes met and Darcy swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Guess neither of us do."

Loki shrugged once. "It is better than other options. At least I am permitted to have my own space. To work, somewhat."

"But you can't use magic." It hadn't been said, not outright anyway, but it was common knowledge that Fury had basically forbade the use of Loki's ability. The responsibility would rest on Thor's shoulders, and perhaps this was why Loki was suddenly trust worthy- or more so, at least. It was this, Darcy sensed, more than anything that had changed Jane's mind about Thor's brother. Sure there was a long way to go, but if Loki was willing to suppress something that was a part of him for Thor's sake, well, that was good enough for the time being.

Loki was busy with his hands for a moment, then he said in a precise tone, "No, I cannot."

"That must suck." Darcy said, surprised by his honesty, and she noticed Loki swallow thickly.

"You can't even imagine. To be forbidden from something that is woven into your being, into your very blood..." Loki stopped, and Darcy was struck by the desperation in his voice, by the _longing_. He gave her a short, taken aback look, as though he couldn't believe he'd just said that.

"I suppose I can't." She said, hurting for him. And this was the moment she knew, just one million percent knew, that she was so, _so_ screwed. Because Loki was everything- to a T- that a sane, well-adjusted woman should want to stay away from. If she had to put him down to just one word, it would be _dangerous_. She definitely should keep her distance. Everybody would agree. Well, Darcy had never been good at taking advice, and most definitely not her own.

Loki was the first person she'd met here that had piqued her interest, that seemed to be as _lonely_ as she was. So what if he was technically under arrest? She'd done time in the slammer, too. Okay, it was just once and it was for some vandalism done at a sorority party, not exactly earth-shattering stuff like Loki had been involved in. Her argument was weak to her own ears, but she found herself distinctly not giving a shit.

"Mother would be absolutely appalled at my manners," Loki said, and he brought her over a tall glass of orange juice. "I am afraid I do not have much to offer you," he started, but Darcy shook her head quickly.

"This is perfect. Whatever you're cooking smells _amazing._ You're probably the last person I thought who could go all Gordon Ramsay."

Loki smirked. "The last? If you think Stark cooks his own meals you definitely are in fact delirious from blood loss."

Darcy laughed, and then stood up, crossing the room to the dining table.

 **oooo**

Loki had made omlettes, and Darcy put two away before she realized she wasn't exactly being ladylike. Not that Loki seemed to mind- he watched her with a bemused expression, then whisked away the dishes when she was finished eating. She never took him for domestic, but here he was, drying plates and spraying down the counter with Lysol, like any normal person.

As she settled contentedly back to the couch, Darcy wondered if his mother had anything to do with it- he had said earlier that she'd be mad about his manners.

"Your mother- Frigga, right? Do you still talk to her?" It was an extremely personal question, Darcy knew, but she wasn't exactly one to beat around the bush. Why waste the time? If Loki wasn't going to answer the question, no amount of hemming and hawing would change that.

"Occasionally. Thor delivers our correspondence." He was still behind the counter, slowly tapping his finger on the granite top, a habit Darcy had noticed since he'd started working in the lab. He did it when he was concentrating, when he was on the verge of breaking through some massive problem. She wondered what he was trying to solve now- a way to get her out of here? But if he really wanted her gone, he'd have said so, and in no uncertain terms, she was sure.

"Did she teach you to cook?"

"Gods, no. She's awful at it. Thor as well. They are very much alike."

Darcy wondered who Loki was like- he hated Odin so much, so Loki probably went out of his way to _not_ be like him, just like she did with her own mother. Odin sounded like a huge ass from everything Jane had told her and though Thor spoke with deep respect of his father, it often seemed to be more out of propriety than his genuine feelings. From what she'd heard of Frigga, she couldn't imagine Thor _or_ Loki being very much liker her. Though a warrior in her own ways, she had still been docile enough to her husband to allow him to ban both of her sons from the realm. Thor and Loki were both rebels, when it came down to it.

"You know," Darcy had lain down, and Loki came over to the chair beside the sofa, watching her. He could tell she was not far from sleep, and he did not much blame her. She had to be exhausted from a weekend of no nourishment, then being awoken and injured at such an early hour. Yet, it was a massive mistake to let her stay here. There wasn't a person in the entire facility- or world- that would believe she was here of her own free will, that he had, in fact, been assisting her in a time of need.

"A lot of people here don't trust you, at all," Darcy continued, "they think everything is your fault- New York, I mean. Not everything, obviously, not like in the whole world. Oh god, I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Loki went to reply, but Darcy did not give him the chance."But see, Loki," she continued, "I don't think I blame you. Or _just_ you, you know? I mean, you super sucked. Like, who even does that dictator bullshit anymore? But everything you went through, everything you had to find out from Odin and then those fucker aliens totally taking advantage of you..."

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but he found he couldn't. Never, in all his days, had there been anybody in sympathy with him. Darcy was not excusing him of his actions, but she was trying to understand them. Even Frigga hadn't...

"Clint killed his fair share of people, too, and people just forgave him like it was nothing, _less_ than nothing. They say he was brain washed to do it. Why don't they think the same thing about you? And just who the hell ever said Bruce was the picture of innocence?"

She stared at him, her blue eyes boring into his. He had no answer for her, though he did not feel that one was necessary. She seemed to be asking herself, rather than him. She gave one long, slow blink, and then she was gone, lost to sleep.

 **oooo**

There was a swift knock at his door, then it swung open. Jane was there, a massively worried look on her face, and Thor behind her. He looked a little worse for wear, but his grin was as wide as ever.

"Brother," he boomed, and Loki narrowed his eyes in annoyance, gesturing to Darcy's still slumbering figure. Jane smacked his arm, putting her finger over her lips. Thor grabbed Loki's shoulder in affection, then turned to gently pick up Darcy.

"Is she okay?" Jane asked, wringing her hands together. "I can't believe I forgot to warn her about the loose spring- this is all my fault."

"You would never purposely hurt her," Thor said soothingly, freeing one hand from Darcy to cup Jane's cheek. She smiled appreciatively up at him, and Loki felt a mixture of revulsion and wistfulness at the sight.

"She is fine. I did what I could for the cut. I made sure she had sustenance. Then she rested."

Jane and Thor exchanged a long glance, then Jane turned, wanting to reach for Loki's hand, but thinking better of it. "Thank you, Loki. Really. I'm so glad she had somebody looking out for her."

"A truly kind thing you have done, brother." Thor said, and Loki stood there, watching them go, cursing the annoyance he felt at seeing Darcy in the arms of his brother.

 **oooo**

Darcy knew she wasn't in Loki's apartment before she opened her eyes. There was a different energy around her- at Loki's, she'd felt a sort of tingle in the air, a pleasant prickle along her skin. Here it was all heavy light, and she opened her eyes, sitting up. She wasn't surprised to see Jane sitting across from her, a book in Norwegian spread across her lap.

"I'm never going to forgive you," Darcy mumbled, and Jane's eyes snapped up to her.

"Darce! Oh my gosh, are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Yes. Oh hell yes, she needed a lot of things. A flipping reality check. A long shower. Lunch, full of grease and a large Dr. Pepper on the rocks. An extravagant bonus. But mostly, she just wanted...to be near Loki again. She felt that there'd been a shift in their relationship. For instance, now she felt they actually _had_ one. Maybe she was just that utterly annoying girl in Jane's lab, but that was better than nothing. She'd take it.

Darcy couldn't explain it, but she'd never felt so, well, _calm._ Her days here were always hurried and sometimes frantic and often she felt like a cord being pulled taut, about to lose her shit and go all Snapped on everyone. But those moments with Loki, she'd felt relaxed and at ease and who ever thought that he, mischief extraordinaire, could make her feel those things? If a hot stone massage and a generous shot of bourbon didn't do the job, she had been sure nothing could.

There he went again. Completely blowing away her expectations.

Jane was looking at her expectantly, and Darcy shook her head, trying to clear it. "Um, I'm good. I mean, I'd like to clean up. Then we should probably get to work, huh?"

"Are you sure you feel up to it? I mean, you had a crazy morning-"

Darcy shook her head. "I'm totally good! Since I'm here, I'm guessing Loki called you, so you know he took super good care of me."

Jane nodded, standing up. "I'm so glad he was there."

Darcy nodded fervently and followed Jane into the bathroom. She couldn't help but wonder what the rest of Loki's apartment looked like, and if she'd ever get to see it again. Jane handed her a towel and left her alone, promising to order up some lunch.

Darcy shut the door, then went to the mirror, taking in her reflection. She was pale and needed a little eyeliner, but otherwise she looked totally normal.

So why didn't she _feel_ totally normal?

 **oooo**

As Jane had promised, she had lunch delivered and Darcy had devoured her bacon burger (Thor himself had eaten three of them), happily slurping her large Dr. Pepper as they entered the lab. Loki was already there, a thick red book open in front of him. He saw them coming and stood, holding his hand out expectantly when Darcy came through the doors.

She did her best to suppress a smile (and failed miserably, something she hoped Jane didn't notice) as Loki took her wrist in both his hands, taking off the gauze and examining the cut. Jane had given it a look over, of course, and deemed Loki's work top-notch, though she insisted that Darcy head up to the medical wing for a tetanus shot. Darcy had blatantly refused- she fucking _hated_ needles and one panic attack was plenty for today, thanks.

"As I said, non life-threatening." Loki had fresh gauze on the desk and tied a new bandage for her. Though she was prepared for the moment his fingers left her skin, it seemed to be an even greater loss than the first time.

"Totally life threatening. I'm lucky to even be walking." Darcy said, and Loki raised an eyebrow incredulously at her.

"Ape though you are, I think you have escaped the worst of it."

"Hey!" Darcy laughed, shoving him in the arm. She could tell that Loki wanted to laugh too, even though he didn't. Maybe it was too soon, maybe their...friendship? was too new. Or maybe he didn't want to laugh in front of Jane. Darcy made it, right then and there, her personal and uber important goal to get Loki to laugh. A real gut busting laugh, not one of those arrogant chuckles he gave every now and then.

"To be on the safe side, perhaps you had better see to a tetanus vaccine. Apes are so terribly fragile, are they not?"

Darcy caught her jaw from dropping just in time. He cared about whether she got a tetanus shot or not? He actually, genuinely cared? Again, just whoa. Then again, he had brought gauze for her on his own. Who knew he could be so compassionate? Well, she did, actually- she'd witnessed it in the elevator, at the party, when he'd saved her life. And now, here he was again, totally surprising her and obviously Jane, who had eyed the roll of gauze with astonishment.

"Thank you! See Darce? Told you." Jane said, smacking Darcy lightly on the head with a manila folder.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Maybe later. I'm up to my eyeballs in it here anyway." Darcy gestured towards the teetering stack of paperwork on her desk that needed to be meticulously inputted and logged and filed away, then sent to the appropriate department heads and other labs throughout SHIELD bases in the entire world.

"Call it good fortune, then, that I happen to have such a vaccine right here, in my very possession." From the pocket of his green tunic he pulled out a capped needle and syringe, and a small glass bottle of thick liquid.

"What the fuck? When did you get that?" Darcy demanded, taking a step back from him and falling into her office chair. They were cornering her! _So_ unfair! And yet this showed her, this was absolute, _absolute goddamn proof,_ that she'd been right. There was a change in their relationship now, and Loki cared about her goddammit! Maybe he'd never get butterflies in his stomach because of her, and maybe he'd never spend vastly inappropriate amounts of time thinking about the color of her eyes, but hell, it was a start.

"The when is so very unimportant, Darcy. The how, well, now _that_ is a tale." He said in a low voice, as Jane wandered out of earshot. He had lowered himself into the chair beside her.

Oh, her curiosity was definitely perked now, and Loki, a satisfied look on his face, knew it. "Well even if you have it, it doesn't matter. Jane isn't a real doctor, and unless you've been taking night nursing classes on the sly, you can't legally administer that either, and I sure as hell am _not_ sticking myself with it. So, it's moot and everything. Let's just all get back to work now, nothing to see here people!" Darcy went to wheel herself away from him, but he caught the foot of her chair around his ankle and pulled her back.

"A needle, Darcy, is not so complex a thing. One simple prick, and it is done with. The build up in your mind of the pain, however, is very complex and very problematic."

"Dude, it SO is about the pain! That fucking hurts!" She was starting to sweat, she could feel it at the small of her back, at her neck.

"You have felt pain before. You have lived. Why is this any different?"

Well, now he was just being a pain in the ass. How could she even begin to explain very human fears to a veritable god? Loki knew fear on a galaxy-sized scale, not a pathetic little human one. The smell of rubbing alcohol and the dim lighting in a doctor's office were enough to send Darcy into a panic-induced coma, as they would most normal people! Why couldn't he see that?

"Look, it isn't like it's rational-"

"Ah, that is good," Loki said, nodding in a clinical way, "accepting that your fear has no basis in logic is the first step to overcome it."

"Well who the hell said I wanted to do that? Facing your fears and all, that's for the birds." Darcy scoffed, and this time she shoved away from Loki with all the force she could muster, sliding across the linoleum floor and back to her desk.

She felt him behind her, then, pressed almost into the backrest of her chair.

"I can help you," he said, in a velvety voice that she had _definitely_ never heard before, because if she had, she would've been mush on the floor. "It won't hurt you. _I_ won't hurt you." Silver tongue infuckingdeed!

Darcy slowly spun, looking up at him. She wanted to slip her hand into his, to believe that he wasn't just talking about being quick with a needle jab. Instead she kept her hands tightly folded in her lap, but she found herself nodding. She thought it was basically worth whatever horror was sure to come because Loki gave her a smile like he had the night of the cocktail party, and _that_ smile on _those_ lips was worth the panic and the torture.

"Give me your arm," he said, in the same sultry voice, and Darcy vaguely thought that she'd sign over her fucking soul if he told her to. Jesus, how many women had he turned into puddles just by _talking_ to them? No wonder he'd been able to manipulate his way into attempted world domination.

Loki pushed her sleeve up, all the way past her bicep, and uncapped the needle. She winced and squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for the pinch and the burn of the liquid in her veins. "Darcy," he said, and it was like a hot wind over each nerve in her body, making the hair on her arms stand up on end, "look at me."

Oh shit, he didn't have to tell her twice! She found his eyes, a fathomless green, pulling her in, forcing her to focus on him and him alone. "You are doing _very_ well." He murmured, and she felt his fingertips on the inner bend of her elbow, and Christ is was like heaven, and she wanted to look away, _tried_ to, but his eyes kept her attention centered.

He bent down, his lips near her ear, and when he spoke, his breath hot on her neck, she was surprised she didn't fucking combust right there in the damn spinny chair. "There, now. Good girl." And then he was gone, his back to her, retreating to the desk he'd been seated at, flipping through some papers.

Darcy blinked rapidly, looking down- there was a band-aid there, on the crook of her arm, and the empty syringe was on the desk top. Obviously he'd shot her up, but when?! She recalled his earlier words, _the when is so very unimportant, Darcy. The how, well, now that is a tale._

He was very easily ignoring her now, as though he hadn't just fucking unhinged her, as though he couldn't have made her do whatever the fuck he wanted her to. How unfair was that? Like, could she even begin to describe the magnitude of that injustice?

She was sure she couldn't form a coherent thought right now, let alone actually engage in a conversation with him that she wouldn't be _utterly_ mortified at later, so instead so tried to ignore him as he was her, and she slipped her earbuds in, turning her iPod to shuffle and finally getting down to the ever-growing stack of paperwork beside her computer.

Darcy was just sending off a memo to Seoul when Jane came back into the lab, chatting over her shoulder to a woman dressed in an exquisite pinstriped pant suit and heels. Darcy noticed the very expensive looking pearl earrings in her ears, a string of them around her neck and pearl ring on her middle finger. She could be Pepper's sister! Except Pepper was always smiles and kindness, and this woman, while definitely sophisticated and important, looked entirely unapproachable.

Jane stopped to introduce the woman to Darcy, but the woman's gaze was transfixed on Loki, who was reading from the red book again. Darcy took out her earbuds, watching as, after some exchanged words, Loki, Jane and the woman retreated over to one of the worktables on the other end of the room. Jane held out a piece of notebook paper, on which what looked to Darcy to be unintelligible scribbles. The woman made a comment on the page, and Jane shook her head earnestly.

A moment later, Loki and Jane were in deep discussion, the vein that throbbed in Jane's forehead when she was working visible from across the room. For the first time, as Loki gestured toward another page of his own complicated equations, Darcy wished she spoke physics so she could understand what they were talking about.

Loki was now furiously scribbling over whatever formula Jane had just written down. Jane threw her hands up, pointing to the door of the lab, where a workman in uniform was carting in a dolly stacked with boxes. Darcy caught the woman's name, Alexa, and while Jane met the workman halfway down the aisle of the room, Loki and Alexa (Darcy thought for a second that the pearl necklace should've come complete with a scarlet A) were in deep discussion.

Well, it was good that Loki was being more social. If he could behave himself around strangers, that would show Fury that he was progressing and growing and-

Oh FUCK no.

Alexa had leaned in, touching Loki's am, while tipping her head back in an exuberant laugh. She was f _lirting_ with him! Oh what now, anybody off the street could come in and sweet talk this god, this prince?

Loki said something, and the woman tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, tilting her head to one side.

Darcy had seen enough. The head tilt, now _that_ was going too far. This woman didn't even know Loki! Didn't even understand him or care about him and until two minutes ago, she'd never even seen him with her own two eyes!

"Well Alexa, it was just awesome of you to stop by, but as you can see, we're totally swamped around here," Darcy was across the room, pulling the woman by her elbow before she'd even realized she was standing.

Alexa sputtered, trying to explain that she was here because she'd been told to be, but Darcy, the stronger of the two women, easily pulled her to the lab doors. "Oh you've been very helpful, but we've taken plenty of your time."

"Darcy!" Jane cried, her hands on her hips, but Darcy ignored her.

"I have to stay!" Alexa said, but Darcy shook her head. "Thanks, but we got it." Darcy pushed her out the door and locked it after her, so that even when Alexa swiped her badge at the entrance, the door didn't budge. Darcy waved at her, and Alexa finally shrugged and disappeared down the hallway.

"Uh Darce? We really needed her."

Darcy waved her hand dismissively, trying to avoid Loki's intense stare. "For what? We can figure this out."

"These are negatively charged proton accelerators from Tony's personal collection. That girl you so rudely pushed out the door was supposed to help us assemble and test them!"

"What does she have that I don't, hm?"

"Well, a PhD in quantum astro-engineering, for one-"

"Trifles." Darcy cut Jane off, turning her back to the pair before they could see her face burning with embarrassment. What the actual fuck? Where had _that_ come from? Not that she'd be checking any time soon, but getting jealous over some random woman flirting with Loki was probably against protocols of some kind...like, how _not_ to throw yourself at a criminal mastermind!

Then again, it wasn't really like she considered Loki a criminal. Sure, he was an ass. He'd let himself be lead down a dangerous, dark path that Thor was intent on saving him from. And yet, here he was, working alongside Jane and SHIELD, complying with Thor and Fury's wishes. Reaching out to her, helping her, listening to her. That didn't sound very bad guyish to her.

"Well there's no way we can do this alone," Jane said, with another annoyed glance at Darcy, "so I'm going to have to call Tony. Maybe he can walk me through it and we won't have to go through-" Jane paused, squinting, "whatever _that_ was again." Jane gave Darcy another look, one that simultaneously said she was dead meat and also that they had some serious girl talk to do, then she left the room, her cell phone in her hand.

Darcy let out the breath she was holding, her stomach twisted in knots now that she and Loki were alone. He was leaning up against the wall, his arms crossed at his chest, and she could feel, more than anything, him giving her that same intense stare.

She finally sighed and whirled around. "It's rude to stare." She said pointedly, hoping to god she could keep herself from blushing. This was the most mortifying thing she'd ever done, and that was saying a lot, to put it mildly.

"Not as rude as you were to that poor girl," Loki pointed out, the smirkiest smirk Darcy had ever seen in her life on his lips.

"Poor girl my ass. She was being very unprofessional."

"Yes, I do know how high a priority professionalism is to you." He was trying not to laugh, wasn't he?! He was humiliating her further _and_ doing it for shits and giggles!

"Yeah, well...ugh, whatever." She was sick and needed help. She couldn't even come up with a decent counter, insult, joke, nothing! Jealousy had sapped everything out of her, had driven her completely insane and now she was little more than a bumbling, drooling idiot. There was only one thing for it- she had to get out of dodge, stat.

She went to her computer where her bag was, and slung it across her chest. She'd feel better after some sleep, and there always was the bottle of chardonnay in the fridge. If ever a girl deserved a bottle of chardonnay, it was her. Fuck this whole day, and fuck it _hard._ Like, with a cactus. Two of them.

"Darcy," Loki called quietly as she started for the door, and she turned back to him, surprised that he'd followed her, and at the sudden change in his tone. He was merely a foot away, now, and she looked up at him expectantly.

"Humans," he said, "typical ones," he quickly amended, "do not interest me." Darcy's eyes widened in surprise. Was he saying what she thought he was? Was there the slightest possibility that he was hinting something to her?

"So there are some who do?" she asked, readjusting her bag so the strap slid in between in breasts instead of over them.

He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes dropping down for barely a second, following her motions, before returning to her face. "Some." He agreed, and then he swept past her, and was gone before she could turn around to watch him go.

 **lyrics used are from Dibbs by Kelsea Ballerini**


	3. Something I Can Never Have

_...you make this all go away..._

Darcy never thought she'd _look forward_ to going to work. Oh sure, there was a lot she liked about her job, and she could definitely do worse for bosses than Jane. But now, hell. She hadn't stopped thinking about Loki since he'd left the lab yesterday afternoon, and his absence was like an annoying mosquito bite that wouldn't stop itching no matter how much she scratched it.

She knew now that her little crush had progressed into something far beyond that, and she knew that indulging herself would not end well. How could it? Loki wasn't even from earth! Say there was the slightest chance in hell that he even did like her back, how would that begin to work?! She could never take him anywhere, as Fury wouldn't let him leave the damn building. They couldn't even date properly. And her parents? Oh Christ, she could just imagine that phone call! "Oh hey mom, yeah, you know how you keep making me want to punch babies because you won't shut up about my love life? Yeah, despite all my flaws you continuously point out, I actually met someone! Well, remember when New York was leveled because of an alien invasion?" Yeah, right! Okay okay, so that part _would_ be fun, because her mom would probably give actual birth to an actual cow.

Still, it was so unrealistic that she knew she was getting her hopes up for nothing. Loki was fire, and playing with fire got human girls burned.

 **oooo**

Loki looked forlornly into his wardrobe, wincing as he still felt the tattered remains of his clothes slipping through his fingers into the rubbish bin. Well, it had been his own fault, as they say. He was, indeed, the one who told Thor to hold nothing back on him.

After leaving the lab yesterday, Loki had felt lighter, dare he say, _happier_ , than he had in so, so very long. When Thor had stopped by to thank him yet again for his kindness to Darcy earlier that day, he had suggested (as he often did), that they have a simple scrimmage. To Thor, that was the ultimate bonding experience, and Loki had to admit that he did rather miss those times.

So he thought, why not? What harm could it do? It would humor Thor at the very least, and there was still something inside of him, something half buried, that strove to make his brother happy. If that could be achieved by something as silly as an old play duel, well, alright then.

And _then_ , of course, Thor had thrown his entire self into the match, and though Loki himself had done quite well, his clothes had taken the worst of it. Thor had promised, with a booming laugh and a clap on his back, that he would see to getting Loki new clothing when he next visited Asgard. Which was of course well and good, but until then, he would have to make do with what Fury had provided him.

He grinned to himself for a moment, wondering just how shocked everyone would be to see him dressed as a mortal man. He did _so_ enjoy making an entrance.

Loki would have been lying to himself if he would have said that Darcy's reaction was not the one he was most anticipating.

 **oooo**

"Um, wow." It was all Darcy could say as Loki strolled into the lab, his walk the same self-important one, but he was totally different.

Well, okay, not _him_ , just his clothes. She had literally stopped in the middle of what she was doing, a stack of papers half way to Jane's in-box, her mouth definitely hanging open. Loki was wearing a pair of immaculately tailored black slacks and a dark gray button up shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His shoes were also black, a fine leather dress shoe that Darcy was sure cost a couple of thousand, easy. His long hair was as tousled as ever, and though she knew he'd been in regular clothes before, it had been only once or twice and he wore the clothes with as much ease and confidence as any CK model.

"Is this undiluted adoration I sense?" Loki asked, as he passed Darcy.

"You wish," Darcy said, but her voice lacked any real sarcasm, something that of course Loki picked up on immediately. He met her gaze with a pleased one of his own. Darcy opened her mouth to say something else (well, to try to anyway, she was pretty sure Loki had the ability to turn her mind to pudding with no effort whatsoever), but then her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, turning back to her computer to pull up a file that Jane desperately needed.

When she hung up from her boss lady, Loki had gone into the very back of the lab, his back turned to her. Was it just her, or was there something _very_ self-assured in that back? How was it possible that he could exude so much arrogance with just his body language? He'd give Tony's ego a run for its money!

"Somebody once told me that staring was rude." Loki said without even turning around, and Darcy instantly flushed, but she lifted her chin defiantly and stuck her tongue out at him.

"I saw that." He was watching her reflection in the glass pane of the cupboard, and Darcy smashed her lips together, trying to suppress a laugh, but failing.

Loki turned, a smile on face that was becoming less of a rarity and more of an occurrence, and Darcy, once again, could've sworn he was going to laugh- she was actually anticipating what it would sound like- when the door to the lab slammed open, and Thor walked in, his boisterous greeting echoing around them.

Loki's smile lessened, but Darcy noticed it didn't fade completely away, as it had in the past when Thor was around. Could that be some sort of progress? She was itching to know how these months on earth had started to change Thor and Loki's relationship. Hell, look at how they had changed _t_ _heirs_! And a lowly lab assistant was definitely small potatoes compared to Loki's own brother.

"Darcy, you look well," Thor said, giving her a chivalrous bow. Darcy loved it when he did that; it always reminded her of the good old days when Jane and Thor had just met and Jane brought out Thor's humility.

"I'm running at a million percent," Darcy confirmed, giving him a cheesy thumbs up.

"Most wonderful to hear. And now if you will excuse us, I must speak brother to brother." Thor indicated Loki, and Darcy nodded quickly. Hey, far be it from her to get in the way of brother's bonding!

"I've got some errands to run for Jane anyway." Darcy said, glancing from Thor to Loki.

"Mind you avoid the elevators," Loki said smoothly and Darcy was _this_ close to flipping him the bird, but then she noticed his eyes- they were full of, dare she say, concern? He was totally serious! He wasn't making fun of her, or being sarcastic. He was actually telling her to be careful. She was truly touched. It may have been such a small thing to say, but Loki seemed, somehow, to understand her panic, or at least he took it seriously and didn't try to dismiss it, as her parents always had.

 _Say something Darce, Thor is looking at you like you're sprouting tentacles from your forehead. Say something, dammit_! "You got it." She managed to get out, tearing her gaze from Loki's, then hurrying out of the lab before she said something _really_ stupid.

 **oooo**

When Darcy returned to the lab, Thor and Loki were gone, and she was left alone, though she most definitely wouldn't be bored. Jane had been in, and had dropped by a few memos and a stack of phone messages for her to return.

While slightly disappointed that Loki wasn't back (god, how pathetic was she?!), Darcy got to work, and if anything, was grateful to be buzzing around. It kept her mind off things, and sometimes, even emshe/em needed a break from Darcyland.

 **oooo**

Sure it wasn't exactly heard of. Nobody except Thor went to Loki's apartment looking for a social visit, and more often than not, Jane was with him. So heading alone into the lion's den? Definitely not something that happened regularly.

Unless, of course, you were Darcy Lewis. Then it was something that just came with the territory, and it was why she was here, knocking on his door in the early evening, hoping he would even answer, let alone let her in. It was pretty pathetic, she had to admit- he'd been tied up with Thor doing God knew what for the last half of their day, and Loki probably hadn't even given her a passing thought. But there was nothing wrong with being friendly, and Darcy was determined to prove that.

"Do we not see enough of each other on a daily basis?" Loki drawled as he opened the door, but Darcy knew from the tone of his voice that he was being sarcastic because that's just how he was. He actually had a fairly friendly look on his face. Well, what passed for friendly with Loki, anyway.

"C'mon, nobody can ever get enough Darcy. Besides, I come bearing gifts." Darcy held up a plastic bag.

"Just as well. I seem to have prepared more than enough dinner for myself. It would be a waste to throw the extra out."

Darcy's eyes widened. Well now, this was far better than she could've hoped! He was inviting her to eat with him! She was totes counting this a date. Well, semi-date, she amended, as she realized she was not in fact wearing her date boots nor had she even moussed her hair. Still, score one for Darce!

"Do make yourself comfortable." Loki said, bemused, as Darcy flopped down on the sofa, taking her bag off her shoulder.

"Don't mind if I do." She stretched her legs out, the sofa as comfortable as she remembered it being. It was weird, but she already felt at home here, like it was totally normal to come in and hang out. It definitely felt more welcoming than Thor and Jane's apartment, though they both did their best to welcome Darcy into it whenever they could.

Loki was putting the salt and pepper shakers on the table, and Darcy noticed he already had two places set.

"Am I interrupting something?" Darcy asked, Alexa's face irrationally flashing through her mind.

Loki shook his head. "Let us say that I was not surprised to find you at my door." Well, yeah, she was probably a little predictable. Darcy had a rep for being overly friendly, and it was obvious that she had taken an interest in Loki. Not hard to connect the dots there. But he didn't seem mad about it, or even slightly irritated. She counted this as a win.

She was about to ask what he was cooking, when something red out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. It was the book Loki had been perusing the last two days in his spare time in the lab, and though she'd never noticed the title of the book, she had wondered a few times what was so fascinating about it.

Now she saw the black type on the front cover: Understanding and Managing Anxiety. It was a simple line of text, straight forward and self-explanatory, yet Darcy eyed it as though it were a massively complicated paragraph in a language she'd never even heard of, let alone could read.

"This is the book you were reading in the lab." Darcy could hardly believe her eyes, because it wasn't possible. It wasn't possible that he was trying to learn about this subject because of _her_ , that he was actually going so far out of his way to help her. Who was she to him? Less than nothing! She may have developed a monumental crush on him that was tipping more to the way of genuine feelings, but it had to be one-sided. In Darcy's mind, there simply was no alternative.

Loki nodded once. "Yes." He set down a pitcher of water, then pulled out both their chairs, gesturing for Darcy to sit at the table.

"Since when did you develop such an interest in human psychology?" That had to be it, right? The human mind was like one huge science problem. Loki hated what he didn't understand. That made sense, Darcy got that at least- he and Jane were so much alike in that aspect.

"Recently, I should think."

"Why?"

Loki narrowed his eyes at her; they were more brilliantly green than she'd ever seen them.

"Do you not know?"

Oh, she could _assume_. She got on pretty well with men, and she could read them all right, but Loki wasn't a man, was he? He was far from it and she couldn't even begin to unravel what was going on his mind. Did she even want to? What if she was wrong? There was every possibility that Loki really was _just_ interested in the human mind. Even if he looked down on Midgard, he was stuck here for who knew how long. Maybe understanding humans was a hobby he'd taken on to pass the time. But even if that was the case, who was she to complain?

"Um, anyway, I noticed Tony outfitted your place with some serious juice," Darcy stood and held out the plastic bag for him to take. Loki scrutinized it, but did not accept it.

"Juice?"

Darcy nodded, then set the bag on the coffee table. "Surround sound stereo, wireless speakers, the works. And clearly it's never been used. So I brought you some stuff to while away the hours twiddling your thumbs."

Loki grinned again, and they both sat at the table. Loki had made a simple dinner; baked pork chops, tossed salad, and garlic bread. It smelled and tasted amazing, and Darcy once again couldn't believe she was getting to see this side of Loki. She doubted even Thor knew his brother could be so down-to-earth (though Darcy would go to her grave swearing Loki was otherwise).

They ate in companionable silence, which was a new thing for Darcy. She often felt the need to fill any gaps in conversation, always liked to be doing the talking, but here, now, she just felt...relaxed.

She was rounding on her third piece of garlic bread when she suddenly remembered something she'd wanted to ask him.

"Okay so I've been dying to know something." Darcy set down her fork and Loki did the same, resting his chin on his hands, waiting for her to elaborate. "The Bifrost. What's it like to ride it? The way Thor talks about it, it must be like, Formula Rossa times a million."

Loki tilted his head in question, and Darcy quickly clarified, "That's a roller coaster. The fastest one in the world. Um, a roller coaster, okay. It's like, okay, like a train? But really fast and gets your blood pumping. You know, adrenaline and all that."

He gazed at her thoughtfully. "How sad a race men must be when they cannot provide a woman with a rush of danger through simpler means." He said, his voice measured.

Darcy swallowed thickly; he was _totally_ flirting with her, there was no doubt about it! Who knew it could be so thrilling? Loki was one million percent right- human men were a joke in comparison.

"But to answer your question. It is so second-nature that I am not sure I can paint a proper picture..."

Loki reached out to her, hesitantly at first as though waiting for her to shrink back away from him, and though Darcy's stomach felt like it would flip out of her body, she leaned into his touch, not remembering _anything_ she'd ever wanted more. Loki's fingertips were on the back of her hand, roaming slowly, _painfully_ slowly, over each knuckle."Imagine a bright light, not just seen with your eyes, but felt within. To your very," Loki turned it over, his middle finger now tracing small circles in the center of her palm, "core. It is one with you; or perhaps," his finger followed the lines of her hand down to her wrist, against her pulse, and she could _feel_ a warmth seeping into her, spread from his touch, a spark of flame inside her blood, "you are one with it." She licked her lips, trying her best to keep breathing; Loki often made her feel like she was drowning.

He went to pull away, but she shook her head, pleading. "Please don't. Don't stop." Because once felt, Loki's touch was addicting and it made her _need_ in a way she'd never felt before, it a way she didn't know was _possible_ before. No wonder human men couldn't hack it for Jane when Thor had left for those years.

That intense gaze was back, the invasive one where Darcy knew, just fucking knew, meant he could read every single thought she had just by making eye contact with her. It was a perfect moment! One for the fucking record books, she just knew it.

He opened his mouth to speak, but his words were drowned out by the cheery ringtone of Darcy's phone by the water pitcher. "Fuck no!" Darcy screeched, lunging for it, fully ready to verbally maim whoever dared interrupt this moment (and then physically maim them later).

"Darcy! Where are you?" Jane hissed, panicked, and Darcy smacked her forehead. "You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago! Everybody's waiting for you!"

"Oh shit Jane, I totally forgot!" Darcy looked helplessly towards Loki, as though she were a starving woman and he her feast. She certainly couldn't deny that metaphor!

"Well get here! We're all waiting on you!" Jane hung up without saying goodbye, a sign that she was definitely ticked. Oh fuck, why now? Why _her?_

"It sounds as though you are desperately needed." Loki said, and was he annoyed too or did she just want him to be?

"Oh my god, I literally am going to kill Jane and then whoever else is closest." Darcy said, her heart racing. She couldn't leave now, not now when Loki was looking at her like he was, talking to her like they were friends and maybe even more. She wanted this, and she wanted it fucking bad.

"Do keep the violence to a minimum. Blood is so terribly difficult to get out of Midgardian clothing."

Darcy pursed her lips, tucking her phone into her back pocket. "No promises. Nope, Jane is getting an earful and she can take science and shove it-"

"Darcy." Loki interrupted her tirade of threats, and she saw that he'd stood and crossed the room to the door, holding it open for her, "this need not be a one time occurrence."

Darcy slung her bag over her shoulder and failed miserably at suppressing her wide smile. "Are you asking for a rain check?"

Loki considered her for a moment and she felt as though he were x-raying her, his vivid eyes roving over her as though taking in every minute detail. "That is entirely up to you. However...you know where to find me."

Darcy all-but floated out of Loki's apartment, her anger at Jane dissipating as she realized that _holy fuck Loki fucking touched her and said she could come back._

 **oooo**

Darcy swept into the conference room, the glares from Jane, Maria, and Phil not even registering as she took a seat on the end aisle, next to Tony, who promptly held open a bag of Twizzlers to her. She gratefully accepted, bumping shoulders affectionately with him, giving a greeting wave to Rhodey, who sat on Tony's other side.

"Now that we are all here," Maria said in a clipped tone, blatantly staring at Darcy, "let's begin. Doctor Foster?" Jane stood and went to the podium, where charts and diagrams had already been taped to a white board behind her. Darcy had begged her boss to try and make the switch to Power Point or some such program for her lectures, but Jane obstinately refused, insisting that the audience was much more engaged when they weren't distracted by screens.

"Technophobe much?" Tony muttered, wincing as Jane smacked the end of her metal pointer on a map.

Darcy snorted softly. "To the max. Unless she built it herself. And then _I'm_ the one afraid." She held up her bandaged wrist, and Tony gave a low whistle.

Darcy nodded solemnly. "No more four AM wake up calls for me, you know what I mean?"

Tony's eyes bugged, as though he couldn't mentally or physically comprehend being awake at such an hour. "Dedicated worker like you needs a raise. A bonus. Something for a rainy day. Check's in the mail, kid."

Darcy shrugged. "Comes with the territory when you work for a psycho. But I am _so_ cashing that, so you've been warned."

"Not so fast. Gotta compensate Ms. Hartford for her consultation to the lab yesterday first, which I understand didn't actually go so well. And guess who doesn't come cheap." Tony gave her a knowing look- well, she supposed all his looks were like that. He was pretty sure he knew everything.

"Alexa?" Rhodey whispered, ducking his head so Jane, now talking about meteorite dust from Sweden, couldn't see him, "she's pretty top-notch. Why didn't she work out?"

Tony turned to Darcy, gesturing that she should continue his story.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Get real! It's not like you can't afford it. Her attitude like, totally sucked, okay? She was really, really...just, unprofessional, and it's-" Darcy stopped, searching for words, trying to find an explanation in which she _didn't_ come off insane, jealous, and pining for the "bad guy". Yeah, she was coming up blank.

"I think that Ms. Lewis is simply saying that Ms. Hartford was more in the way than she should have been. There's sensitive material around. Alien matter, you know. Otherworldly, almost. That needs to be what," Tony raised his eyebrows at her, "protected?"

Darcy inwardly groaned. Tony totally knew! He totally knew she was jonesing, majorly, for Loki. Was she that transparent? But Jane hadn't noticed anything. Though of course that wasn't saying much, since Jane had little interest in anything that wasn't Thor, or physics, or Thor, or the latest super telescope, or Thor, or-

Across the room, Nick Fury caught Darcy's eye. Darcy liked him well enough, but he was by far the most intimidating and intense person she'd ever met. She had the crazy thought that he could hear everything Tony had said, but that was impossible. Even Natasha couldn't hear across rooms. Fury may have been the ultimate spy, but he wasn't an enhanced. If Fury even thought there was the slightest chance Darcy had a modicum of interest in Loki he'd yank her out of the lab and definitely fire her. She gave a sharp intake of breath at that thought, her heart beginning to race.

"So, the field team will consist of myself, Thor, my ever trusty assistant Darcy, and..." Jane was saying, and Darcy stiffened, wondering just where in the hell Jane was dragging them off to now. Not that she usually complained- it was actually one of the main reasons she'd signed up to be Jane's intern in the first place. There was a lot of field research involved, and though most people took Darcy for a high-maintenance city girl, she was at heart actually a lover of all things outdoors.

Growing up in New Mexico had been beneficial in that sense at least; hiking, boating, camping, ATVs. They were things she had done her whole life, things she loved to do. Though summer in the desert was actual hell on earth, it had its advantages as well.

Jane had stepped down to polite applause, and Maria once again stood at the podium. "We'll be leaving at 0800 sharp. _Don't_ ," she looked at Darcy for a brief second, who looked back, unabashed, "be late."

They all stood, the room starting to empty, and Tony gallantly gestured for Darcy to exit the aisle first.

"I'm serious about that check- it's in the mail." Tony gave her a trademark Stark smile, and then he and Rhodey waved her off.

Darcy knew she should probably apologize to Jane for being an airhead about forgetting about the meeting and making it start late, but there was the small (which really was so not small) matter of her not actually being sorry. She would've gladly been late a hundred- a _thousand_ times- to these little pow wows if it meant being with Loki like that. Darcy finally understood the phrase "wouldn't miss it for the world".

It was very simple. Loki wasn't anything like she thought- like anybody (minus his rather strapping bro) thought. He was a completely different person, and though it could have of course been a farce, been a mask, to get her to trust him, Darcy didn't think so. So what if that was wishful thinking? What good was being human if you couldn't make human mistakes? She had always truly believed that people were, genuinely, good at heart. It'd gotten her burned a few times, but it was an intrinsic part of herself, and one she didn't want to change. If Loki was using her, that was on him. There was every chance she would be betrayed- but there was every chance she wouldn't be, and that thought alone, of what could actually _be_ with Loki, was what quickened her step from the meeting, right back to his apartment.

She stayed at SHIELD because she believed in its message- that using any means to protect lives was the highest priority because life was precious. That included Loki's, and it was time to practice what she preached. She was going out on a limb, a shaky one that could be pulled from under her in a split second, but it was worth the risk.

Loki was worth the risk.

 **oooo**

Darcy smelled of crisp apples, and it made Loki's mouth water. He knew it was a mistake to touch her, but she had been _so_ willing, and he could not recall the last time a woman sought his affection. It had been so natural, really, their flow of conversation, Darcy being here in the first place. Of course she would come. Of course she would want to be with him. Of course he would want to be with her. Of course he would reach out to touch her, her porcelain skin torturing and delighting him at the same time.

What a fool he was! Wanting her attention, wanting to help her, to understand her. This time here had truly and utterly addled his brains, had turned his logic to mush. And yet...his misery, which had seemed so eternal and so deep, did not seem to be as present these days. His relationship with Thor had altered; he sensed, every now and then, that things could be like they used to be, when they were children, before their egos had come between them.

Then there was Darcy, Darcy who had given him what so few others had; a chance. A chance to shrug off his labels, a chance to be viewed simply as Loki. She befriended him, she smiled at him (and _for_ him, he often felt), she liked him. More than that, if the increase of her pulse and the darkening of her eyes when they were close, as they had been at the table, were any indications. And of course, that display with the woman Stark had sent- truly, Darcy had been adorable, with her flushed cheeks and her over-zealousness to Jane. Loki was sure that a woman had never been jealous over him. On Asgard he was highly regarded because he was, to the general public anyway, Odin's son. Yet he had never been as popular as Thor, and the fairer sex often thought little of him. Not that he had complained too much. Asgard had few women worth his interest, if truth be told.

Ah, but Midgard...earth...here he had found such a fascinating creature, here was Darcy, a loud, clever girl with a smile to tempt even him. Her buxom figure, her dark lashes, the way she carried herself with such confidence and spoke with such abandon. It was all maddeningly refreshing, and Loki could not have fought his interest in her if he had tried. True, this had all come to fruition because of her innermost fears. Loki had thought several times throughout the past few days that if he had not been trapped in that elevator with her, he may not have seen a whole different side of her, may not have realized just how benignly she thought of him.

Loki reached into the bag Darcy had left on the coffee table, pulling out the plastic case on top. He opened it, and beside the silver disc was a note with instructions on how to use the equipment to play the CD.

Though he internally scoffed at the mere implication that he, who had command of magic more powerful than any of these earthlings could even dream up, would need help working a simple machine, he was more or less grateful for Darcy's thoughtfulness (or impudence, he had not quite decided which it was) as he finally hit the play button and the speakers poured out sound.

It was confusing at first, as he had very little experience with human music. On Asgard music was soul-enchantingly beautiful, instruments woven with magic, the notes and tones perfection. If singing accompanied the music, it was angelic, and there was rarely tragedy in the lyrics. Most often there were songs celebrating great victories. This, however, was music like he had never heard it before. He supposed that was fitting- Darcy was quite unlike anybody he had ever known.

There was a time when he used to imagine himself in Thor's place- all of Asgard showering him with worship, Odin beaming down at him with such pride. The entire court would be tripping over themselves to catch a glance at him, as he held Mjolnir high, his deep red cloak flapping around his legs. To this day Loki could lose himself in that fantasy...only now, only just now, there was Darcy in the crowd, wearing a pale blue gown the exact color of her eyes, her raven hair held up, her sallow neck tempting him even from where he stood, high on the marble steps of the room.

 _I just want something I can never have..._

The man's voice interrupted his utopia, and Loki's stomach felt full of lead as he heard the words, _actually heard them._

And this was reality, cold and harsh and so very, very hard, falling around him, on him, crushing him, flaying him. Darcy could never be his! He could never be Thor! He was a Frost Giant, damned to an eternity of carnage, of hatred! Odin would banish him, smite him, without a thought! The throne of Asgard was as far away right now as it would ever be for him. Loki was a burden, was a chess piece, was loathed and feared and an abomination of the truest sense.

He was Loki _Laufeyson_ , and that would never, never change. Power and revelry and advantage, those were for his brother, for Thor bloody Odinson, and that was the natural order of things.

Loki felt his anger, his repulsion, burst through him as quick as a spark of gunfire, his entire being consumed with the desire to to destroy, to wreck.

For this was who he was, and this would be as it always had been. Loki was a bringer of destruction, of mayhem, and nobody would want that in a man- whether as their lover or their king.

The Universe, in all Her karmic glory, would see to it that he would never be one or the other.

 **oooo**

Loki's door was unlocked, and after her third knock, Darcy decided barging in would be fine. Loki would just have to forgive her brashness. It wasn't like she was coming in unannounced- okay is was totally like that, but-

Whoa. Darcy stopped abruptly, the chaos around her almost unthinkable. The furniture looked like it'd been hacked up with an ax, and the slim speakers that lined the walls had to have been slashed at with a butcher knife. The never-been-used flat screen was shattered, and the kitchen table had been upended, the chairs scattered around the floor in completely random positions, as though they'd been chucked and landed where they may. Loki was breathing heavily, his hair a mess of black around his face, the sofa and coffee table a tangle of wood, glass, and microfiber.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph, what the hell happened here?" Darcy stepped around a table leg, pulling her coat tighter around her.

Loki was glaring daggers at her like she'd never seen before- even when he'd first come to the lab, he hadn't been this hostile. Darcy could almost feel his ferocity pressing against her.

"Dude, seriously..."

"What are you doing here?" He spat at her, as though she were an amoeba, a low life form who had no business being near him.

Darcy swallowed thickly, taken aback by his icy tone. "You said I could come back...I thought you wanted me to."

"And why would I ever want you to do that?" Loki sneered at her, a cruel smirk etched on his face.

"Because we're friends. Whether you like it or not. You helped me, remember?" Did she have to point out the red book? She could see it there, under the plastic sack of CDs she'd brought him on the floor. He was the only person here to actually notice and give a damn about her personal demons. Did she have to describe to him what his touch had done to her? Should she remind him that the sparks in the room at dinner had so not been one-sided?

As usual, Darcy's mind was like glass to Loki. "How stupid are you? I am no hero, no knight in shining armor! I do not save girls like you, Darcy Lewis, I _ruin_ them for sport!"

Darcy refused to back down. This wasn't reality- this was the way Loki saw himself, this was the way Loki had been _taught_ to see himself. Because Odin and the whole of Asgard thought the Frost Giants were nothing more than the dog shit on their boots, and when Loki found out he was one, what else _could_ he think? And Odin knew, all of Loki's life! And yet he still raised his sons to hate what one of them was. Darcy felt her blood boil; Odin was unfit for every title he possessed. If she was this mad at him, she couldn't even imagine Loki's anger- no wonder he'd thrown in with Thanos! Who wouldn't?

"Do _not_ ," Loki's voice was brimming with emotion, but she couldn't decide which one. If anything, he just sounded desperate to her, "look at me like that. I will not have your pathetic pity! I am no simpering oaf, here to do your bidding, here to love you! I am no Thor!" He took a menacing step forward, but Darcy knew, just _knew_ that he wouldn't actually hurt her. And even if he did, she didn't care. Not right now. She never was the brightest star in the sky...

"And I'm not Jane!" Darcy screamed back, feeling his heartache as her own. "I don't need a hero, and I sure as hell don't want a Thor! I'm not scared of you." At her last words, her voice was barely a whisper, but she stared back at Loki, refusing to look away. It was a lie; he terrified her. She knew what he was capable of, that if he wanted, he could probably level this entire building in a matter of seconds. But Loki needed to know that there was somebody he didn't have to hide all of this from, that he could be himself with- _all_ of himself, the ugly parts included.

"Then you are an even bigger fool then I ever took you for," he seethed, turning away from her. Darcy shrugged; he was probably right. Smart girls didn't befriend and fall for the bad boy with literal out-of-this-world baggage.

"We already established I'm not Jane." Darcy said, and she went into the kitchen, where a decorative vase stood beside the toaster. She held the vase above her head, then hurled it at the floor, the shattering nearly deafening in the silence that followed.

Loki looked at her, his head slightly tilted, as though she were a maddening puzzle he was trying to figure out. He didn't move, so she took the next breakable thing- the ceramic spoon rest on the glass stove top- and marched over to him, pushing it into his hands.

"Do it! Break it!" She knew that having an outlet, a physical one, would help. Loki was brilliant, she witnessed that every day in the lab. Yet he couldn't even allow himself to let go, to feel what he wanted, when he wanted. It had all become too much and here they were, in the middle of a friggen hurricane. But if anybody understood that, knew what it meant to let your mind control you, it was Darcy. As Loki had helped her so much lately, she could try to help him. Maybe she would only make things worse, but there was no way in hell she was leaving now.

"It will not matter." Loki said in a winded voice, passing the spoon rest from hand to hand.

"Why not? It'll make you feel better. And it's fun!" Darcy kicked at the shards of vase, hoping that Tony hadn't shelled out too much for it. Oh well. He had the cash to replace it. She just hoped that Maria never found out about it- Darcy was on her shit list already, no need to add _aiding and abetting vandalism and destruction of property_ beside her name.

Loki let out a long breath, then handed the spoon rest back to Darcy. "You should have left."

Darcy shrugged again. "And miss all the fun? No way."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Yes, this is a veritable party." How could Darcy make light of such a situation? What was it about her that managed to diffuse his rage, to remind him of that part of him which was still soft, still hopeful?

"I've been to worse."

"Why did you return?"

"You said I could," Darcy replied stubbornly. "And I know I may have been taking things too literal, but I dunno, it kind of felt like things were...left in the air." She searched his face for confirmation or denial.

"You were not thinking of your safety, were you?" Would she never realize the dangers of associating with him? His instability, his malice?

"Should I have been?"

Loki gestured incredulously around them. "Do you not see what I do? What I _am_?"

"Well," Darcy sat down, stretching out on the tattered remains of the sofa, as though enjoying a day at the beach. "You might be powerful and smart and ridiculously good looking, but!" She reached into her bag, pulling out two bottles, "I'm _wine cooler_ than you." She patted the empty space next to her, and Loki let out a breath, but he stretched his long legs out beside her. Their shoulders were nearly touching, and Darcy thought that if anybody walked in, there would be literally no explanation for the state of the apartment, nor for the contented silence the were in now, as they each sipped out of the bottles.

"Cheers?" Darcy held up her bottle, and Loki, with a raised eyebrow, clinked his against it.

"You are so different..." He said, nearly to himself.

"Compared to...?" Darcy took another long pull off her bottle, _almost_ wanting Jane or Thor to be there, to see this moment- to see Loki casually knocking back a cold one with the super annoying girl from the lab where he was, essentially, held prisoner day after day. Wow, and Darcy thought the Avengers were dysfunctional!

 _Takes one to know one, Darce,_ she thought, waiting for Loki to answer.

"Everybody else."

 **Lyrics used from Something I can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails. Feedback, as ever, is greatly appreciated.**


	4. Fire and the Flood

_you're the fire and the flood_

 _and I'll always feel you in my blood_

Darcy's alarm jarred her from sleep, from that gloriously warm, fuzzy place where Loki's lips hovered over hers as he bid her goodnight, where his long fingers were at her back, splayed against her skin...

Okay so those _may_ been exaggerations, but that reality of her dreams had been so vivid that she hadn't wanted to wake up. Duty called however, and though she had stayed up late the night before packing for the research trip, (or expedition as Jane liked to call it, though Darcy thought that was a little too Indiana Jones for a scientist who spent most of her time indoors) she felt she should probably try to be a little early to meet up with everyone. Darcy for one did _not_ want to spend the whole time dodging daggers from Maria's glare.

She rolled onto her back to look at the ceiling, a ridiculously goofy (at least she was sure it was) smile on her face as she thought about last night. She and Loki had sat next to each other for at least an hour, saying practically nothing, and yet so much had happened between them.

Darcy had been sure he would at least hug her when she had to go, dare she even say kiss her? Or maybe she was just desperately hoping for it. Loki had told her as she was leaving that he'd be away from the lab for the rest of the week, so could she please try not to get herself killed in his absence? She had been about to tell him about their two day trip, but thought better of it. It was technically classified information, and though she trusted Loki far more than she trusted 90 percent of SHIELD, Darcy didn't need it getting back to Fury that she'd let loose sensitive info. She was already crazy paranoid with how perceptive he'd looked during the meeting when Tony was spouting off about that woman.

So Darcy told Loki she'd see him when he got back (and that yeah, _duh_ she wouldn't get herself killed, to which he looked extremely doubtful), and he had nodded slowly, his lips (god they were probably _so_ soft) pursed together in a dissatisfied way. Was he bummed about not being able to see her for that time? Darcy fucking hoped so. She knew that whatever was happening between them wasn't _just_ her. Maybe Loki didn't want her in the way she wanted him, but they seemed to have crossed mountains the last two days.

It was amazing what could transpire in such a short time. Last week she'd only had the occasional thought about how handsome Loki was, how she wished they could at least be friends. And now...it was safe to say she was falling head over feet for him. Which was, of course, a really bad idea, but it felt so good, and so right. That's what everybody said though, didn't they? But Darcy's right was _more_ right than some people's. Most people's. For one, hello, Darcy fucking Lewis here. She may not have been a super hero or a super spy or a super anything, really, but she was still a pretty big deal in her own mind, and that's what counted. And Loki was a god! Well, she'd never say that to his face (probably), and to her, it was semantics, as Thor had pointed out several times before ( _Aesir_ , friend Darcy, _Aesir_ ) that "god" wasn't exactly true.

The point was, this wasn't some run of the mill, average Joe off the streets. This was magic and destiny. And if it wasn't those things, dammit, she'd _make_ it those things.

 **oooo**

"I hope you remembered everything on the list, Darce," Jane said from the back seat, where she sat beside boxes of equipment, tapping a pen on a notepad.

"Thanks for the confidence, boss." Darcy replied, staring morosely out the window. Okay so camping was always a good time, and she got to hang out with people she genuinely liked- she'd been pleased to learn that Bruce, Steve, and Sam were accompanying them as well. Between them, Thor, and Jane, it was sure to be a blast. But none of them were Loki, none of them really actually understood her, and what was more, _tried_ to.

Darcy had thought about telling Jane about the red book, but then she'd have to explain why she was at Loki's place and Jane, scatterbrained though she was, would put two and two together and realize that's why she'd been late to the meeting...it was a lot of explanation and Darcy herself wasn't sure of a lot of it, so how could she tell it somebody else? Though Jane would probably understand best out of anybody this desire, this attachment, to a man from another world.

Still, she just wasn't ready to shout from the mountaintops what had been going on. It was almost like she and Loki were in a sort of sandbox of safety, and she wanted to stay there. Right now, just now, Loki had yet to reject her, and that in and of itself was something she wanted to keep for herself for the time being.

"I'm sorry," Jane said, letting out a breath, "I'm just so nervous. I have to prove to these suits that I'm worth my salt."

"Oh please! Like there's anybody at that rag tag operation with even a modicum of your brains." Darcy said, turning in her seat. It was just them in the car, a special model straight from Tony- SHIELD had a whole fleet of them now- smart cars that were controlled by Jarvis, and Darcy personally preferred this over one of the many drivers that always seemed to be at SHIELD'S disposal. It was much safer, in her opinion, and she did promise Loki she'd stay safe...

"Thanks," Jane said warmly, and Darcy was struck for a moment that even Jane- smarter than anybody in the world, head of the most advanced laboratory _anywhere_ , had her self-doubts, had her own very real worries. Whoa. She'd never thought of it before- Jane always seemed so confident! And Loki always seemed so collected, his feathers unruffled. And Steve always seemed so content to be a lone wolf, to keep everybody at arm's length. And what did she always seem like? What were all of them hiding, keeping buried from the world and most importantly, each other?

"Lewis, you read me?" Sam's voice cackled over the car's speakers, and Darcy gripped the dash, startled.

"Loud and clear. Jesus, Sam, way to scare me to death."

"Jumpy, jumpy," Sam mumbled, and Darcy could practically hear him roll his eyes, "we'll be arriving in three minutes- Thor and Banner are already at base camp. See you then. Over and out."

"Yeah yeah, right back atcha." Darcy said, fiddling with the buttons where, in a regular car, the radio dials would be. She finally found the right one and switched the walkie system off.

"You know, you haven't exactly told me what's up with all of this." Darcy gestured out the windshield, where they could now see the convoy ahead of them pulling off the dirt road. Their usual small operation had seemed to expand overnight.

Jane narrowed her eyes at Darcy. "Excuse me, I most certainly _did_. The briefing you were late to ringing any bells?"

Darcy winced; now Jane knew she definitely hadn't been paying attention. She'd probably never let her sit next to Tony again. "I mean, I got all that," Darcy fibbed, "I _meant_ why are so many people here. Usually it's just us, or Erik, maybe Thor or one other supe. But we have the whole damn circus this time. Four Avengers? It's a little much, isn't it?" Natasha, Tony, and Rhodey were guarding the home base, Darcy assumed. Like the President and Vice President, barring a catastrophic global event, Earth's Mightiest Heroes never traveled together.

Jane bit her lip and Darcy sensed she may have stumbled on something (she'd go over Jane's notes later to catch up on what she'd actually missed about this whole assignment) that wasn't clear even to her.

"I wondered that too...I mean, Thor yeah, obviously I'm not going to complain about that...and Bruce is pretty helpful, I mean it's so nice to have another serious scientist to bounce ideas off...but Steve and Sam? And Maria Hill? Why is this such a big deal to everybody? There's been atmospheric interference before, and sure this particular weather fluctuation is pretty severe, but again, it's nothing we haven't seen. I think..." Jane dropped her voice, "I think there's something SHIELD isn't telling us." Jane shrugged and then lapsed into silence, busying herself with one of her many spiral notebooks filled to the brim with calculations, diagrams, and theories.

Darcy stared out the window as the car slowed, joining the line of other identical vehicles leading the way to a collection of equipment and uniformed agents. Loki had said he'd be out of the lab for a few days...he'd made it sound like he would be working, not just sitting in his apartment twiddling his thumbs. Did his new errand have anything to do with the reason they were here? The reason SHIELD was taking this, whatever the hell it was, so seriously? It was definitely fishy.

"Holy mother of god!" Their car shook violently, a large dent appearing above them, and Darcy hurriedly slid down on the seat, covering her head though she doubted it would do any good against whatever was above them.

"Relax Darce," Jane said, reaching up to slide open the sun roof. Thor dropped down onto the seat, wedged himself in between Jane and the boxes, and immediately pulled Jane to him, kissing her roughly, as though they hadn't seen each other in months.

"Ugh, get a room. And next time maybe wait for us to get out of the car like a normal person?" Darcy mumbled, pulling herself back up onto her seat, trying to take deep breaths to calm her racing heart. If her time spent around Loki was relaxing, she made up for it out here, in the actual world. She could feel her nerves getting tighter and tighter, wrapped around something stiff and wooden, like violin strings.

"My apologies, Darcy," Thor said, once he and Jane had let go of each other. "I am to be sent with the Falcon to do a large perimeter check, and I don't know how long I shall be gone for. I missed Jane, and wanted to see her before I was off."

Darcy waved a hand dismissively at Thor then opened her door, hopping out, though the car hadn't stopped completely yet. It was only just inching along to its destination a few feet ahead, and emanything/em was better than being trapped in a tight space with two people who could give any pair of horny teenagers a run for their money.

There was a band of sweat that had popped up along her back (thanks to big, blond and clueless in there), and looking back at the car, at how small a space it really was, she felt her arms go limp, and she was gasping for air. Darcy crouched on the ground, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt like she was being submerged in ice water. It all flew before her eyes- being trapped in the elevator, the lights cutting out, and with them what felt all the available oxygen, not just in the elevator car, but in the whole goddamn world- metal slicing through her arm, her crying out for help as blood seeped through her sleeve, pushing herself to not pass out-

"Darcy." and _there_ was that velvet voice, the one that belonged to the man who been there both of those times, the man who not only helped her _through_ them with no complaint, but had also kept trying to help her _after_ them. Loki actually fucking gave a damn, and though she knew that, before, though it jolted her and surprised her even still, she could, right now in this very second, _feel_ that he truly cared about her.

"Darcy!"

Darcy blinked, looking up, Thor and Jane crowded around her. _Just_ Thor and Jane. Definitely no Loki in sight.

Whoa, where had _that_ come from? She was totally calm, now, her breathing even, her heartbeat normal. Just the thought of Loki's voice had been enough to help her...Loki, who had never ridiculed her, who thought about her well-being, who welcomed her into his life when he welcomed almost no one else. Of course it made sense that it was _his_ voice that soothed her...but it had seemed so real! She'd felt it inside of her, like it was...Darcy squinted, trying to explain it to herself. Flowing inside her, moving through her shoulders, her legs, to the very tips of her fingers...her blood? Darcy turned her hand over, examining her palm, where Loki had last touched her. She had wanted so badly for that to continue...to see where it might go. Still did. That feeling _definitely_ wasn't going away any time soon.

"You're alright?" Jane asked, her expression full of worry, as Thor pulled Darcy to her feet.

Darcy nodded, but only so they'd stop looking at her like she was holding a live grenade. She wasn't crazy, okay, she was...totally crazy. One million percent loco, call the 800 number, book the all-inclusive suite at the psych ward complete with straight jacket, padded walls, and finger painting therapy.

But...if she was going to be hearing voices, she was grateful that it was Loki's. And if anything made her certifiable, it was definitely that.

Funny, though. For being insane, Darcy had never felt happier.

 **oooo**

Thor left them, and after grabbing their personal bags, Darcy followed Jane around the caravan of trucks and jeeps.

SHIELD did not do anything half ass, Darcy had to give them that much. The base camp Sam had referred to looked more like a military training compound, with neat rows of camo tents, a line of stalls in the middle of them all that were probably showers and bathrooms, and outside the tents was a large fire pit with folding chairs already out around it.

"Doctor," Maria Hill called from where a group of agents were setting up a large canopy, and Jane and Darcy hurried over to her.

"Glad you made it. We're just establishing a mess tent and then we'll get down to business. Lunch will be served in," Maria gave a quick glance to her watch, "forty-two minutes. Until then, make yourselves comfortable. Your equipment will be unloaded here," Maria made a sharp gesture behind them at a tan tent with a plastic door, "and your sleeping arrangements are there," another wave to the two camo tents directly next to the tan one. With a curt nod she was gone, somebody calling for her attention.

Darcy and Jane exchanged a glance, then heaved their duffle bags over their shoulders and made their way towards the tents. Darcy figured Jane and Thor would share one, and she would get the other to herself. She was right; when Jane unzipped the flap of the first tent they came to, Thor's red cloak, a spare pair of boots, and his favorite pillow from their apartment was already inside.

Darcy went to the next tent, which was empty except for an army cot and sleeping bag, and tossed her bag on the ground. It was a beautiful Fall day, the kind that usually got her blood running, that made her happy to be alive. Leaves crunched underfoot and the air itself was filled with something you couldn't quite put your finger on, something alive and adventurous. She'd managed through another anxiety attack, if only because of her severe mental instability. Still, if she couldn't be with the particular person she wanted, at least the scenery was bomb.

"I'm going to go talk to Bruce, can you put this in with all our stuff when they're done?" Jane handed Darcy a backpack, and Darcy nodded, threading her arms through the straps.

"I'll meet you for lunch, okay?" Jane said, and Darcy could see that she was still worried about her. With good reason, of course, but Darcy didn't want Jane to lose focus on why they were here. While Darcy would stay out here as long as Jane needed her, the sooner they wrapped this us, the sooner she saw Loki again. _Ugh, middle school much?_ Darcy inwardly rolled her eyes. It was the truth, though. She actually had butterflies in her stomach at the thought of seeing Loki again- him towering over her with those damn green eyes, the smirk she couldn't stop thinking about spread on his lips...

"For sure, boss." Darcy gave her Jane what she hoped was a convincing enough smile. Jane smiled back and nodded, then disappeared between the rows of tents.

Darcy checked that the equipment tent was still being put up, then headed back to her own, sitting cross-legged on the cot while rifling through Jane's backpack. _Bingo_. As she'd hoped, there was a spiral notebook entitled "Initial Findings, Area 86".

On the inside cover Jane had taped a three cutouts of different pictures, one a geological survey map complete with longitude and latitude and the elevation of the highest peak of the mountain and the lowest level of the valley. The next one was a copy of weather reports of the average temperatures for the last two weeks, for the last three years. Under that was an aerial picture, looking down on the valley. Jane had scribbled a few notes in the margin, but nothing ground-breaking.

 _Dr. Banner was leading a botanical survey group, searching for a unique root on the orders of one Helen Cho, to be used in the SHIELD pharmacy for antibiotics for Steven Rogers, as his super-soldier metabolism absorbs modern medicine too quickly for it to be properly effective. Organic substances are found to be more beneficial to him and to other enhanced individuals. Dr. Banner noted obvious gamma radiation traces in the surrounding plants, soil, and water supply_ (well, that accounted for the massive water drums that had taken five supply trucks to haul in, Darcy thought), _as well as out-of-season temperature fluctuations confined to a one mile north and south radius. SHIELD has named this Area 86. Thor and Tony Stark were summoned for further investigation. Inconclusive results on the origin of the gamma radiation. Subject area is evidently uninhabited, and traces of radiation are not found in soil, plants, animal droppings or water sources outside of Area 86. There are no irregular thermonuclear readings, and an infrared scan of Area 86 and the surrounding ten miles in every direction proved normal. SHIELD archives show no known bases, ally or enemy, in this area or surrounding areas. A Ranger station fifteen miles east of point of origin is the only structure. Ranger station is run off a solar-powered generator. No gas lines, phone lines, water lines, or electric lines have been installed. Alien matter is being considered. Thor will be returning to Asgard briefly following the conclusion of on-site expedition._

Okay, so basically a shit ton of gamma radiation just showed up out of nowhere, happened to be found by Bruce fricken Banner, and what was more, in that small mile strip, the weather was totally freaking the fuck out. And nobody knew why. Darcy felt a glimmer of pride- literally Jane was SHIELD's final hope for answers. As always, Darcy had totally hit the nail on the head- Jane had zero reasons to worry about her place here.

Darcy read over Jane's last line again. Thor would be going back to Asgard...probably to some investigating of his own, especially if there was any possibility that whatever was going on, had something to do with- or had come from- another realm. Asgard was the most obvious place to start. But Asgard meant Odin...

Did that mean Thor was taking Loki back home?

 **oooo**

It was the smell that brought Darcy out of her reverie, the smell of freshly baked bread and roasted chicken. She stood, stretching, and on her way to the mess tent, where she could see a group congregating. She dropped Jane's backpack off, adding it to one of the long tables in the equipment tent.

"Darcy, this way!" Darcy heard Thor's booming voice calling after her, and she looked across the line of people outside the mess, and saw he was holding up a plate already filled with food, gesturing that she should follow him.

Darcy gave him a relieved smile- she would not be able to get rid of the gnawing in her stomach if she didn't ask Thor what he intended to do about Loki. It wasn't _actually_ possible that he was going to whisk him away to Asgard, because just no. The Universe couldn't hate her that much. She wasn't perfect, sure, but she wasn't a douchebag (well, at least not all the time), and this would be like, Red Skull-esque Karmic payback. So yeah. Just no.

"I thought you might be hungry," Thor lead Darcy over to a collection of picnic tables, where he sat down in front of his own food, three heaping plates filled with chicken salad sandwiches, piles of potato chips, and scoops of coleslaw. There were two frosty bottles of water next to the salt and pepper shakers that had somehow found their way to the middle of nowhere. Fresh-made chicken salad and bread? Kettle cooked chips? Damn. Darcy needed to camp out with SHIELD more often!

"Starving." Darcy concurred, pulling her plate towards her.

"I need to speak with you." Thor said abruptly, after swallowing a massive bite.

"What a coinkidink." Darcy said, raising an eyebrow. "Coincidence." She explained, confusion all over Thor's face.

"Ah, yes. Regarding?"

Darcy shook her head. "You first."

"Right. The matter is..." Thor leaned in, though the table nearest them was empty, "I wish to...what was the human phrase? Ask for Jane's hand."

Darcy choked on her coleslaw, taking a gulp from one of the water bottles. "Oh my god! That's fantastic!" She pushed her plate out of the way, reaching over the table to throw her arms around Thor. "Congrats, dude! Oh man, Jane is gonna flip!"

"I forget, is flip a good thing an ill one?"

"Oh, it's a good thing. A great thing. An amazing thing! So, when are you gonna pop the question?"

"This is why I needed to speak with you. I...have very little idea of what to do. How does one go about this? Loki made some suggestions-"

"Whoa, you asked Loki for advice?" This definitely was an interesting turn in events. Maybe that's why Thor had needed him the other day? Fancy that, Thor asking Loki how he should propose to Jane! Earth had done wonders for their relationship...all the more reason Thor should leave Loki exactly where he was.

Thor nodded. "He said I must have a ring. I asked Stark, and he said, "every girl wants a huge rock on their hand". I remembered I had a piece of meteorite- I found it in the desert when Jane and I first met, do you remember?"

Oh she remembered alright! Darcy patted her back pocket affectionately- she never went anywhere off SHIELD property without her trusty taser.

"I found a tradesman who was able to forge a ring set with the stone. Do you think she will like it?" Thor opened his palm, revealing a small black velvet box. Darcy took it from him and opened it, holding a breath of anticipation. It had a delicate silver band, and the stone was kept in it's purest form- a small glittery chunk that would take Jane's breath away. How could it not? Like Thor, it had come from so far away, traveled so long and endured so much to end up here.

"The jeweler said he would be able to grind it down with facets, so it resembled a diamond. I thought Jane would like it more this way."

Darcy nodded, gently closing the box and handing it back to Thor, her eyes filling with happy tears. "Definitely. She's gonna love it." God, her two best friends getting married? She was totally calling dibbs on maid of honor.

"Now, what did you wish to discuss, friend Darcy?"

Oh, right. Sidetracked much? Well, she couldn't help it. Thor asking Jane to marry him was pretty much the event of the century. The only wedding that would be as anticipated would be if Tony ever got off his ass and popped the question to Pepper.

"I thought I should just check with you," Darcy began cautiously, unsure really how to ask what she was dying to. Even more than Jane, Thor would understand her caring about Loki- after all, he'd stuck by his bro even after the shit had hit the fan in New York, and he was still here, still trying to recover that bond they'd once had.

"Wait," Thor stopped her, placing a warming hand on her arm, "Before you go on. I must thank you, Darcy. Not only for always being there with Jane, for being a true friend to both her and I, but for being one to Loki. My brother is not an easy person to...appreciate. Yet you do, and I can tell how you have changed him. Almost as I have, thanks to Jane."

"Oh, it's not like-"

"I will be keeping him on Midgard for now, for this very reason," Thor talked over her, and Darcy could've sworn the damn clouds in the sky cleared, trumpets sounded, and an Autumn breeze swept gently around them, as if in celebration. _Loki was staying_. "Because he has shown that he is, indeed, capable of changing his ways. He is kinder now, less brusque. Less, shall we say, angry. That is a miracle, one I did not believe would ever come to pass."

Darcy was about to reply when Jane plopped down next to Thor, who casually took his hand off the table, stowing the ring box in his cloak. Jane gave him a quick kiss, then flashed Darcy an amused frown.

"Thanks for meeting me, Darce. They were almost out of cookies by the time I gave up on you and got in line." But she wasn't mad- Jane knew when it came to lunch, hey, every girl for herself.

Darcy shrugged, reaching over to take a chip off Jane's plate.

"It is my fault," Thor said, his arm now around Jane's back, "I was just telling Darcy how grateful I am to her for her interactions with Loki."

Jane nodded, lightly smacking the back of Darcy's hand as she now tried to grab her cookie,

"who would've thought that Loki could change so much? You really proved that."

Darcy smiled. "Hey, being a spaz for once paid off. Go me!"

Jane gave her a real frown this time, but before she could say anything, Maria Hill appeared in front of them (out of practically nowhere, like where did Darcy sign up to learn that little trick?) and cleared her throat. "Sorry to interrupt," she said, passing Jane a clipboard with a checklist attached to it, "they're nearly finished with your...instruments. Can you verify this is everything you need? We'll start running diagnostics immediately."

Darcy stood, reaching out for the list. "I can do it. You," Darcy pointed severely at Jane, "eat. Thor, tie her down if you have to. She didn't have breakfast."

"Tattletale!" Jane called after Darcy, who followed Maria away from the table, trying to keep up with her, as Thor admonished Jane on proper and frequent nutrition. Dear Lord were those two meant to be together! Marriage would suit them perfectly.

"Doctor Foster seems to trust you a great deal." Maria said, and Darcy was too shocked that Maria had even spoken to her to reply. "It's very helpful, to have people like you around. You see things others might not. Hear things they might miss." Maria's intense stare met Darcy's- was she trying to say something more, or was she simply giving Darcy a compliment?

"Um, thanks. I really do love working with Jane." What else could she say? It was the truth, though. Even through all the anxiety and shit, she had it pretty good.

Maria nodded, and an agent rushed forward to hold open the flap of the equipment tent for them. "The work in the lab is crucial. We need all of you to keep it up, to keep doing what you're doing. Do you understand?" Maria gave her another long look, and Darcy could've sworn that she wasn't talking about logging Jane's data and keeping her hopped up on caffeine But what else _could_ she mean? She had said, "all of you". Not, "the two of you". Not, "just" you, or "just" Jane. Well, the only other person in the lab was, of course, Loki. But how could Maria have any inclination about her friendship with Loki? Nobody had even seen them together! Unless they were being spied on. Although Thor hadn't seen them together, either, and Darcy knew Thor definitely wasn't the peeping type. He'd still drawn his own conclusions, and though Thor was probably the greatest guy around, he wasn't exactly one to get subtlety or implications.

Darcy's eyes never left Maria's. Whatever Maria knew, Fury knew, and vice verse, which explained a few things. But all she saw in Maria's glance was a positive affirmation that things were going well, and that they should continue to do so.

"I think so." Darcy mumbled, and with a curt nod, Maria handed her a pencil, indicating she should begin checking everything out.

"Excellent. I'll check with HQ and then we'll hopefully get this show on the road." And as quickly as she'd appeared in front of the picnic table, she left the tent before Darcy could bid her goodbye.

 **oooo**

Loki knocked on the appropriate door, wondering if it was protocol for the Head of SHIELD to have an office on every floor, or if Fury had thrown one together so he would not have to take Loki out of the special security bounds he had set up on these two floors. For surely Loki had never seen Fury coming or going, and though he was not everywhere at once (not without his magic, anyway) as he used to be, he still managed to notice quite a lot.

The door swung open, and Fury, already seated at his desk, gestured for Loki to sit in the empty chair across from him. The room was sterile white, the only furniture the chrome, glass-topped desk and two chairs. This room, Loki noticed, had no windows. Security feature or oversight? It was hard to know with SHIELD.

"Thor says you're more cooperative now. Nicer. At least, he thinks you've show that the last few days." Fury said, leaning back in his chair. "I have to wonder why that is." But his face seemed to tell a different story than his words- he had the look of a man who already knew the answer to whatever question he was asking.

He surely could not be talking about Darcy, yet what else _would_ this man be referring to? Loki narrowed his eyes at him, and Fury stared back, his face a blank slate and though there was a time when Loki would sooner run him through with his long-lost scepter (he was not ruling that feeling out, at least not as of yet, if only he could find the damn thing) than look at him, oh how he would love to dine on the going-ons inside Fury's head.

"So here's the deal. I have a problem. And you're gonna fix it."

 **oooo**

Getting the show on the road, as Maria had put it, proved harder than expected, but Darcy was used to technical difficulties at this point in her career. When you made your own equipment and instruments, there wasn't exactly an owner's manual to refer to, no tech support number to call and troubleshoot with. With Bruce's help, and Tony barking suggestions via speaker phone, they were able to have most everything up and running by the time the sun had started to set.

Jane wanted to keep working with flashlights and kerosene lamps, but Bruce (with Thor heartily agreeing) said they should call it a night and get started bright and early in the morning. So here they were, around the fire pit, finishing off barbecued chicken and cornbread. Maria had disappeared into one of the tents- Darcy swore she never saw her eat, drink, or use the bathroom. Much like Fury himself, she was sure. Thor was doing another perimeter check with Sam, which left Darcy sitting beside Jane and Bruce, which was all well and good until they started chit chatting about Brewster's Law this and Tesla that.

Scraping the last bit of chicken off her plate and into her mouth, Darcy stood, leaving Jane and Bruce to their gobbledygook. She found the trash and tossed her plate and cutlery, then looked around in search of somebody at least semi-normal to hang out with until either lights out, or Jane needed her again. Judging by the way Jane was showing Bruce her notes and Bruce was taking them very seriously, she'd be off the hook until morning at the very least.

Spotting Steve finishing up his own dinner, Darcy made her way over to him. He too dumped his plate, saw Darcy coming towards him, and motioned for her to follow him.

"Darcy Lewis. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Steve smiled, the kind that Darcy couldn't help but return, and they walked past the last row of tents, almost outside the camp itself before Darcy replied.

"Can I ask you something?" Darcy asked, her voice nearly a whisper. They were far enough away from camp that nobody would hear them, but she still wanted to be careful.

"Before you do, you should know that I'm always honest and, according to Nat, an over-sharer. So beware."

Darcy laughed. "I'll tread lightly. I guess I'm just wondering..." Darcy trailed off, not exactly sure how to word what she wanted to ask.

"Why we haven't gone public?" Steve guessed, his hands in his pockets. Him and Sam hadn't said anything since she'd found out their secret, but then words hadn't been necessary. She was honored that they trusted her enough to keep their romance under wraps.

Darcy nodded. "Something like that, yeah."

Steve considered this for a moment. "I think, for the most part, because we want to stay like this for a while longer. We know we can't hide it forever, and we don't want to by any means. It's just..."

"You want to stay in the sandbox." Darcy murmured, and Steve glanced down at her, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm not sure if-"

Darcy waved her hand dismissively. "It's a metaphor. You know, safety, security."

"Child-like innocence?" Steve added with a chuckle.

"Well maybe not so much," Darcy said, thinking of Loki's fingertips on her pulse, on her palm. She shivered, though not from the deepening night.

"My turn for a question," Steve said, slipping his jacket off his shoulders and wrapping it around Darcy's. Darcy gave him a grateful smile, tugging the sleeves down so it was tighter, "why do you ask?"

It may have been a different _kind_ of questioning, not an interrogation exactly, and much more subtle than say, Tony's approach, but Darcy found herself wanting to side-step the question.

"Um..." She trailed off, but she knew that she could be truthful with Steve- at least about her feelings, if not about who they were regarding. Darcy could pretty much guess how he'd react to anything in regards to Loki.

"Somebody special, Lewis?"

"Special is..."

"Putting it mildly?"

"Exactly. He's not like _anybody_ I've ever met before." Darcy nodded fervently.

"Believe me," Steve gestured to the sky, where they could see the outline of Sam's wings high above them, circling the camp, "I know what you mean. It's going to be hell to pay when the world knows about Cap and Falcon. But this is who I am- who we are. And we love each other. We'll just have to keep reminding ourselves that's what really matters."

And for that second, Darcy knew that somebody, somehow, understood.

 **oooo**

Loki was lead by no less than five agents, armed to the tilt, into a large room. Floor-to-ceiling shelves were filled with books, and in the center of the room was a long table. It had a few chairs around it, and upon it was a box of pens and a stack of blank notebooks, just waiting to be filled. There was also a slim silver laptop next to the pens, should Loki wish to use it. He did not. He, like Jane, preferred the old method of using paper; it was easier to catch any mistakes that way.

As with every room on this side of the building, the far wall was made out of windows, though Loki was sure they could withstand nuclear fallout and not show even a crack. The agents were joined by others, who stationed themselves at exact points in the room. They were more for show, Loki was sure, than anything; if Fury was actually concerned about a security breach, he would have at least one Avenger here, breathing down Loki's neck and doling out bathroom breaks like a trumped-up school teacher. These were probably new recruits, those just itching to don SWAT gear and hold a gun. Whatever Thor had said to Fury had further gained his trust.

This was little more than an errand to keep him busy, he was sure, but truth be told, Loki was looking forward to it. Whilst this sort of research was not something he was particularly fond of, it would pass the time and perhaps keep his mind from wandering to places it should not be going.

Though those places were so refreshing, so _new_ , that he did not try nearly as hard as he ought to to keep the thoughts he should not be having at bay. He may not have known much in the way of Midgardian romance (Thor and Jane were not exactly his choice example), but he was not daft enough to think he did not have an effect on Darcy, and he most certainly was affected by her. When, he wondered, did this all begin? When had he started to notice her, more and more? Surely the elevator was their turning point, but he would be a liar if he had said that was the first time he had noticed her.

He gave his head a small shake, trying to stay focused. Fury had set him to a task, and he was not going to risk further isolation because of petty impudence.

Isolation from whom, he wondered?

 **oooo**

Darcy let out a sigh as she rolled over once again. The tent was too stifling, too closed-off; she needed space, open air. She preferred sleeping under the stars when she was camping, and by the sound of it, nobody else was awake. She pulled her boots on and grabbed her sleeping bag, thinking that the reclining folding chairs around the fire pit would be perfect to lean back in and look up at the sky.

Darcy unzipped the tent and as quietly as she could made her way to the fire pit. The fire had been extinguished, though there were flood lights at both ends of the camp, and Darcy could see, a few hundred feet away, a pair of agents patrolling. No doubt the supes were off keeping watch as well. But here, it was quiet and dark enough that Darcy could appreciate the night sky above. She loved living in the city, but damn, there was just something about being out here, in the mountains and clean air where the stars looked close enough to touch.

What would Loki think about this? Would he enjoy it, like she did? It was easy to see him as the sort who would wait until everybody else had gone to bed to come out and truly soak up the sights. It would be easier for him to appreciate something so beautiful if he could do it in his own way, in his own time. Darcy had, at least, learned that much about him in the past few days. While she knew solitude had been forced on Loki, she had decided that sometimes, he really did just like being alone.

Settling down comfortably with her sleeping bag pulled up around her, Darcy leaned back in the chair and sighed deeply. _This_ was much better. She could breathe out here, she could _feel_ out here. She thought back to what her mom had always said about nature, _it's opener there, in the wide open air_...maybe her mom was batshit crazy where everything else was concerned, both her parents were, but they had at least done her the justice of passing on their love for the outdoors.

Even if her family was totes off the deep end, Darcy had some pretty awesome people in her life, and she loved them fiercely. But here, under the black velvet sky strewn with opal constellations, with swirling sapphire and ruby planets, out here where the air was chilly and scented with crisp, falling leaves, she didn't think that anybody could genuinely appreciate it like she did. For Darcy, this was religion, this was spirituality personified, and usually she wanted to sneak away, to enjoy how peaceful it was by herself, to seep in how _whole_ she felt, standing in the middle of such splendor. Only now, she felt a deep longing to share this state of mind, to have somebody beside her she could lean into, could melt into, somebody who could understand her feelings.

Jane was interested in nature, of course, but she was always asking a thousand questions that demanded answers and she cared more about how things _worked_ than enjoying them. Thor was too hyper, too busy, to stop and smell the roses, which was just one more reason he was pretty much perfect for Jane. But Loki would love it, Darcy knew, would crave it like she did. He would cherish the sound of wind in the trees and the smell of fading embers and the knowledge that whatever the mystical powers of the Universe really were, well, this is where you could be one with them, here is where that old saying of being made of stardust actually hit fucking home. It really got to her, now, here in the vast night, that she and Loki were both more alike than she really ever knew.

Darcy took a deep breath, closing her eyes, wishing more than ever that he was beside her.

 **oooo**

Thor surveyed the valley below him, wishing he did not always have to answer the call of his duty; he would have much preferred to stay in the make-shift shelter with Jane sleeping peacefully in his arms. Yet he was here for her protection, and see that through he must. Harm would not befall her, nor Darcy, nor all of the work they were currently doing.

Thor's thoughts drifted, as they usually did in the quiet still of the night. He thought of his brother, of the fact that he was now able to put some trust in him, to have confidence that he was not in fact wreaking havoc at every opportunity. When had that begun to change? It had been some time, now, probably since Loki had been put to use in Jane's lab. Usefulness does wonders for all creatures, as his mother used to say.

Work was not the only thing Loki had on his mind however, and Thor was not blind. He had watched his brother's interactions with Jane and Darcy particularly closely, mostly out of regard for their safety, yet also out of curiosity. And Loki tolerated them both seemingly well. He had seemed particularly amused by Darcy, though that was not so strange, as Thor had yet to meet anybody who was not. Ah, but then, things had begun to shift. Loki had reached out to Darcy, had aided her, and what was more, kept trying to. Loki had asked Thor for that red book, and though he did not think much of it at the time (Loki often requested books of many varying subjects), now he understood what, exactly, had brought about this transition in Loki's character.

He himself had first-hand knowledge of how a woman, a particular woman, could change one so. In mere days he had witnessed his brother softening, returning to the Loki that he knew when they were growing boys. There was still that rift, of course, between them, and Thor would spend his days trying to cross it, but there seemed to be more give on Loki's side of it, instead of only take.

Thus Thor had faith, faith that it was possible for his brother to be saved, faith that his brother __wanted__ to be. And he also had, because of Darcy, hope. Hope that Loki could possibly be happy, hope that he could open his heart to somebody. Hope that Loki could find a love like he had with Jane.

After all, lesser men than Loki had been saved by lesser women than Darcy.

 **Lyrics used from Fire and the Flood by Vance Joy. As always, feedback is appreciated. This will be more than my original intended 5 or so chapters. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing..**.


	5. Fear and Loathing

**Quite a long chapter! I wanted to include some holiday stuff so I hope it's not too long for your taste. I hope you all have had and continue to have a wonderful Holiday season and a fantastic New Year, whatever you celebrate!**

 **Do enjoy.**

 _Don't wanna live in fear and loathing **  
**I wanna feel like I am floating **  
**Instead of constantly exploding_

On the nights she couldn't sleep, Darcy tried to to picture different scenarios to help her focus on something in particular, instead of letting her thoughts pound over her like over-pressurized shower spray. Sometimes it was what she'd buy on an Ikea shopping spree; others it was where she was going when Tony, out of the goodness of his heart, lent her one of his private jets, complete with personal chef and butler. And there were the very ordinary fantasies, like calorie-free carrot cake (with thick cream cheese frosting like the bakery on Fourth Street made from scratch every morning), or free pizza (unlimited toppings, of course, and stuffed crust was a must) for life.

Tonight, though, it was much less vague than all that. Tonight, under the glittering midnight sky, she was thinking about Loki. If she lived in even a semi-normal world anymore, proper decorum would dictate a proper date with the proper amenities. Obviously semi-normal wasn't even a pipe dream for her anymore, but hey, the point was a girl could dream.

Darcy could picture it, a restaurant in a luxury high-rise, the food five-star and the champagne costing more than she made in a month. And Loki was smiling at her from across the candle lit table, his smirk alluring and mischievous at the same time. He was dressed- Darcy paused, wondering just what she preferred him in. For he was breathtakingly handsome in full Asgardian wear, or in a finely tailored suit.

Yes, a fine dining restaurant would suit Loki, she decided. Past villainy aside, he was a born gentleman, definitely somebody who enjoyed the finer things the world- whichever one he was currently on- had to offer. She too enjoyed those rare nights out when somebody else (usually Tony) was treating them all to a nice dinner. Darcy wouldn't call herself a foodie exactly, she ate way too much delivery and TV dinners for that, but she could definitely appreciate a top notch meal.

Though, she could totally imagine them strolling through Central Park, fingers entwined, maybe, if she could locate some gonads and reach out for his hand. They'd stop at a hot dog cart (mustard and relish for her, no condiments for Loki) and find a bench under a tree that still had brilliant red or gold leaves clinging to its branches. Then maybe she'd show him The Met- it was one of her most favorite places in the entire world, a place she could get lost in for hours on end. There was so much to see and to truly experience there, and she had a feeling that even Loki would find it fascinating. Then it'd be a stop at her favorite coffee shop, a place ran by a rowdy family of Italian immigrants who made the absolute best espresso she'd ever had.

Those thoughts were nice- great, actually- but they weren't exactly scratching her itch. Well, that was obvious. What she really wanted, what would really rock her socks, was Loki here, with her. He'd hold her, her back to his chest, and they'd look up at the sky together. They wouldn't have to say much, if anything, at all. A large part of their relationship, dare she say chemistry, was that so much was understood without a lot of words.

" _Loki?!_ " Whoa. She was either tripping (now that she thought about it, the barbecue sauce at dinner had been a little too spicy) or her daydreaming game was on point.

Speak of the devil! Holy shit, here he was! Flesh and blood and- what the hell was going on around here? Loki gazed thoughtfully at her, from across the fire pit, where he had seemed to appear out of thin air. "Where is this?"

Darcy swallowed, not sure if she'd be able to get over her shock and form a coherent sentence."Area 86. According to SHIELD, anyway."

Loki frowned. "And _why_ are you in a radiation soaked wasteland?"

"Wait, you know about Area 86?"

Loki shrugged. "I have been running here and there, doing Fury's grunt work. He has had me researching gamma radiation, though I do not know why it was not a chore given to one of his many underlings. Are not minions for that very purpose?"

"I think you're a dream." Darcy said in disbelief. "And if so, then it's my dream and I can do whatever I want."

Loki raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Then dream Darcy and reality Darcy are not terribly different, are they?"

Darcy mock-glared at him. "And dream Loki and reality Loki are both really annoying. Now get over here."

It was him obeying, and almost instantly, that let Darcy know yep, she'd fallen asleep, and hard, too. Not that she was complaining! She stood and motioned for him to sit where she had been, and was awed at how regal he could manage to still look, reclining in a camping chair. She plopped down into his lap, her legs stretched over his, pulling his long arms around her. "There. That's better."

Loki let out a low breath of amusement that she felt reverberate through her body. "You say you are dreaming this. Then you must have been thinking of me."

Darcy nodded. "Yep. Course, I usually am. Sorry, dream-Loki."

"I assure you," Loki said quietly, and Darcy shivered as his words hit the back of her neck, "your apology is quite unnecessary."

"Yeah well it's not really my fault. I'm merely human, after all."

"I would not say you are _merely_ anything, Darcy. What were you thinking of, if you do not mind the question?"

Darcy shrugged. "Taking you to a museum. I mean, it's not _just_ a museum. But it's something I wish I could show you."

"Ah, well, the last time I ventured to one, it did not go so well for me. Stark still will not shut up about his apparently epic capture."

Darcy laughed- only with Loki would she feel like it was okay to laugh about the past. So okay, gouging out somebody's eye and using the scepter as a blunt object wasn't something she should probably be laughing about, but this was her dream, dammit. She'd laugh at whatever she damn well pleased.

"Well there were other things, too. A nice restaurant. On Tony's dime, of course. The least he could do after calling you Reindeer Games."

"As if he is one to comment on anybody's choices of armor..." Loki muttered, and she couldn't hold back a grin. Who, she wondered, had the biggest ego? That was probably a question best left unanswered.

"Or we could go to Central Park. It's actually a really beautiful place. A kind of oasis in the middle of urbania. Plus, can't beat the vendors. Junk food like you don't even have on Asgard."

"Are you sure of that?" His tone was teasing; he lifted his hand and she felt his fingers sliding gently through her hair, caressing her locks with the same softness as when he was bandaging her cut, or distracting her to give her a tetanus shot. It seemed so _ordinary_ , him touching her. Like he always had, like it was a matter of course.

"Loki, I'm not sure of...well, pretty much anything. Except you." Darcy wondered if she'd ever have the courage to say this to his face, in real life- it couldn't be that far off, really, not with her inability to keep her big fat mouth shut. Her feelings for Loki seemed to be growing by the day. Something about this being a dream, about them being by themselves, out in the open air, made it all too easy to spill her guts to him.

He heaved a sigh, but said nothing.

Oh no, her dream Loki would _so_ not be like reality Loki, all cryptic and quiet, never revealing too much, or anything at all.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I wonder, are all humans this problematic?" Loki murmured, splaying his hand over hers.

"Rude much?" Darcy sniffed, elbowing him lightly in the stomach. "Stop being a Debby Downer. My dream, remember?"

"Of course. Where are my manners." _There_ was that slightly sarcastic edge that she loved to hate.

"It's beautiful, right?" Darcy tipped her head back to the sky, and she felt Loki follow suit.

"Quite."

"Where's Asgard? It's gotta be up there somewhere..."

Her hand still in his, Loki raised them both towards the sky, scanning the millions of stars, searching. "Ah, there, I should think." He pointed and made a small circle.

"Do you miss it?" Darcy asked quietly. Thor did; though he considered his home to be anywhere Jane was, she knew that he missed his mom and the palace where he'd grown up.

Loki sighed again. "Perhaps not as it stands. What I wish will never come to pass, and that makes it easier to leave behind."

Darcy nodded. "You miss what you want it to be more than the actual place. I totally get you. I feel the same way about my family."

"Do you?" Loki sounded interested. Well who, aside from Jane, had ever cared about her past? Certainly nobody at SHIELD, though Fury probably had an entire file drawer dedicated to her dirty laundry.

"Yeah, my mom's a psycho, my dad isn't far behind her. They don't get along very well, or even like each other that much. I think they stay married just to drive me batshit crazy and let me tell you, it's working."

"Do you think they love you?" Loki asked quietly. Ugh, really? Why was he getting all, introspective?

"I...yeah. Maybe. Maybe it's like you and Asgard...I think they love the idea of me more than the actual me. They thought I'd go off to college and be some great lawyer, or something as equally shitty, or get hitched and start popping out kids. They nearly disowned me when I majored in Political Science. Dad threatened to cut me off, which shows how delusional he really is because I'd already been killing myself at a dive bar to make ends meet. I stopped depending on them years ago."

Gah. Word vomit! She couldn't stop rambling. He was probably so bored. Not to mention thinking she was pathetic. Loki had real family troubles, like, not even Jerry Springer could help that dysfunction. Though Darcy's dad could be an ass, and usually was, he at least hadn't raised her to hate what she was, or hid her true lineage from her.

"It shows. That you are self-reliant, I mean. It is a rare trait in humans, I have come to find." Was he complimenting her? Well, now that was more suitable for her dream than chit chatting about her fucked up family.

"Is it still customary to wish upon a shooting star?" Loki asked after a moment of silence. Darcy looked up just in time to see the white trail of a star disappearing into velvet black.

"Sure is."

"Go on, then."

Darcy readjusted herself so that she was on her side now, ear pressed against Loki's chest. She could hear the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat, and his nimble fingers were again toying with the tendrils of her hair.

"Well? What shall it be?"

"I wish...that dreams could come true."

 **oooo**

Loki blinked up at the ceiling, wondering what sort of lunacy he had wandered into. His dreams of late had not been unpleasant, but they had certainly never been that corporeal.

The chill of the evening, the heat of Darcy against him, her hand beneath his...surely it had all been a delusional fantasy, driven by his boredom, by her absence.

And yet...her raven hair, with just a hint of campfire smell to it, had felt like silk running through his fingers. The solidity of it, the _realness_ had been maddening. How desperately he wished it had been true! To hold her, to be the one she thought of, to discover more about her...

He rolled over, now staring out the plate glass wall of his bedroom. It was dark still, the middle of the night, city lights twinkling at him. A sight to be sure, but nothing compared to the gorgeous one he had just left.

What was he to do? His desires toward Darcy were something he seemed unable to control. It would be better off for her if he could regard her as he did most humans; stupid creatures that were below him, beings that he had no particular care for.

Darcy, however...Darcy, with fire in her eyes, with an open heart and a quick mind...Darcy, with the capacity to forgive, to see past what others refused to...Darcy, who made him feel worth something, who needed him, wanted him, as nobody and nothing else had ever done before...

He was not lying when he had questioned if most humans were as problematic as her. She was an enigma to him, a strategy game dying to be solved. Loki, of course, was more than willing, provided he had the time here to attempt understanding her. Caring for her was easy, it came naturally, a thing he knew he should oppose, but did not want to. Why should he? Did Darcy not also care for him? He could not be entirely sure, but certainly he had not forced her hand in any of it. She had sought him out several times, and seemed to genuinely like his company. Was he not as deserving of companionship as anybody? He was here, was he not, attempting at atonement, trying to make right with Thor.

Should he not have some happiness of his own?

 **oooo**

At some point in the night, Darcy jolted herself awake, expecting to find Loki still there, or at least wishing it. He was gone, obviously, as soon as she opened her eyes. Duh. Dream and all.

She pulled out her cell phone, and seeing that it was only three in the morning, decided to get back to her tent and catch a few hours of sleep before they had to be up and doing whatever it was Jane wanted them to do.

Sleeping bag trailing behind her, she found her way back to her cot and fell into a doze, wistfully remembering how Loki's arms had felt around her.

 **oooo**

Everyone knew that Darcy wasn't a morning person. An eternal caffeine addict, she was almost unapproachable until she'd had her morning buzz. Whether in the form of a Big Gulp, a tall thermos of coffee, or her personal guilty pleasure, a seasonal latte from Starbucks, those who were around her on a normal basis usually kept their distance until around ten AM.

But today, Darcy awoke with energy, with purpose, and again with a big, goofy ass smile on her face. It was definitely going to become the norm if she kept having dreams like that.

"Eggs over easy, double bacon, and ketchup on the hash browns." Jane announced, setting a plate in front of Darcy. They were congregating at the picnic tables, bleary eyed agents and scientists. Maria had announced that they would only have one more night here, so they needed to gather what data they could before heading back to the city.

Darcy was glad to hear it. She'd been replaying last night over and over in her mind, and every time she relived it, it felt more tangible. It made her giddy and happy, but also made her miss Loki even more.

"You know me so well." Darcy lifted a steaming mug towards Jane, who was turning the pages in a notebook while eating a scone and nursing her own coffee.

"I wish I didn't have a time limit." Jane said, checking her watch. "I mean, you can't really put a constraint on thorough research, can you?"

Darcy shrugged; easy for Jane to say, she could spend forever out here, in the middle of nowhere, mobile lab at the ready. In a way, she was jealous of her; Jane had found her passion, her purpose, and she was bloody amazing at it. Would Darcy ever find hers? There had to be something she could rock at, aside from being an all-around amazing person and even more amazing friend. Would she ever find a talent of her own? Did she even have one?

 _Whoa. Too much thinking before protein._ Darcy chided herself, then dug into her breakfast.

Thor approached the table, arms laden down with plates of food, and Darcy looked up expectantly at him. Jane's left hand was still very much ring-less, meaning the big lug hadn't popped the question yet. She could've surmised as much, as there had been no shrieks of surprise in the night or early morning. Thor looked helplessly back at her. Okay, it was obviously time to step in here. God, would they all just die without her? Probably.

"Hey, while everybody is...doing whatever it is they do around here, why don't we take a hike? Get a feel for the land?" Darcy suggested. Heading up the mountain would be a perfect opportunity to pop the question. Beautiful surroundings, nobody else around, and she could easily slip off to give her friends some privacy.

Relief washed over Thor's face as he followed Darcy's train of thought. Oh, they _so_ owed her.

"That's actually a really good idea," Jane said, draining her coffee cup. "Could help us get some perspective, you know?"

Thor sat down beside Jane, and Darcy counted no less than six eggs, four huge pancakes, a plate entirely made up of sausage links and bacon strips, and three large muffins. Well, those kind of muscles did need some fuel, she supposed. She'd never seen Loki eat that much, though he did have a heartier appetite than you'd expect just by looking at him. Just one more surprise about him. You really couldn't judge a book by its cover, could you?

"Well, shall we?" Jane asked a moment later when Thor and Darcy's plates had been cleared.

"I'll get some waters," Darcy said, pushing away from the table.

"Great, I'll grab Bruce- he'll want to join us." Jane said and Darcy's face fell.

"Oh, but don't you think-" Darcy called after her, but she was already gone. "Ugh," She rolled her eyes, "Jane and her science bros."

Thor chuckled. "It is no problem. I can easily sneak off with Jane for a moment alone. She is right, Banner is needed for this research. If it is important to Jane, it is important to me."

Darcy beamed. "You'll make a great husband, Thor. Are you sure you're ready for this? Won't it mean staying here, like, permanently?"

"My home is where Jane is. Should she wish to go to Asgard, then we shall. I am content to go, or to stay, where she does. I foresee no changes in our assignments...Jane will always be dedicated to her work, as she should be, and I will always be an Avenger, as I should be. Our lives will not be shifted too much."

Darcy could only hope that some day, somehow, she found somebody who was as loving and supportive as Thor. She tried to push Loki's face from her mind, but as had happened recently every time she attempted that, she failed miserably.

 **oooo**

"Damn this is such a pretty place. Can't beat that view, can you?" Darcy looked down on the valley below them, the branches of trees bare. Winter wasn't far off outside of Area 86, which was just a few hundred yards ahead of them.

"Definitely." Jane said, checking the map in one of her notebooks. "Well, shall we?" Jane wasn't exactly one to stand in awe of the scenery. Too bad, really, but Darcy supposed it was just one of those things that made Jane, Jane.

"Um, actually, I'm gonna head back to that stream we passed- get a sample, you know?" Darcy held up her empty water bottle.

"Good idea. I know Maria said her team was gathering physical data, but I want my own to analyze later."

Darcy nodded. "Totally. Bruce, a hand?" Darcy called to Bruce, who was leaning against a tree, also surveying the terrain below.

"Oh, sure."

Darcy looked pointedly at Thor, who took a deep breath. "Let us go on, Jane. They will catch up."

When Jane and Thor had disappeared, Darcy let out a breath. "It's about time! God Banner, how clueless _are_ you?!"

Bruce's eyes were wide. "Wha- what? I'm not sure-"

"I've been trying to get Thor and Jane alone, but you and Jane don't shut about, science this and science that!"

"We don't just say "science", Darcy. And why do they need to be alone? They're-"

A shriek erupted somewhere ahead of them, and Bruce turned wildly around, but Darcy grabbed his arm before he could run towards it.

"What are you doing?" Bruce hissed, "I think that was a cry for help!"

Darcy shook her head. "Nope. That was a "holy shit Thor just asked me to marry him" cry. And about fricken time, too."

Comprehension dawned on him. "Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's why...okay."

They waited in silence for a few minutes, but when Jane and Thor didn't come back, Darcy's lip curled in disgust. "Ugh, they're literally worse than cheap porn! Does Jane not realize you can get ticks from doing it outside?"

Bruce swallowed. "Um, maybe we should head in a different direction. I don't...I don't want to be around when Thor..."

Darcy nodded vigorously. "Let's get these filled," she pushed a bottle into his hand, "and skedaddle"

They were halfway up the side of a hill in the opposite direction when they heard a large crack of thunder, and then Thor and Jane appeared in front of them, dropping down from the sky, Thor holding Mjolnir aloft.

"Let's see it!" Darcy ran to Jane, who held out her hand- the meteorite ring was a perfect fit on her slender finger. "Gorgeous." Darcy declared.

Jane gazed down at the ring, a giddy smile on her face. "Isn't it?"

"Not the jewel befitting you, of course," Thor, who was shaking hands with Bruce, said, "but a worthy memento nonetheless."

"Holy shit," Darcy said, stepping back to look at Jane.

"What? What is it?" Jane asked, brow furrowed.

"Jane, oh my god! You're going to be a fricken princess!"

"Holy shit," Jane replied, in awed agreement.

 **oooo**

Bruce and Darcy lead the way, now, as Jane and Thor hung back, murmuring quietly together. Darcy was sure Jane's face had to be killing her, as she hadn't stopped smiling all morning. Thor of course was as happy and blustery as ever, but that was normal for him. Jane was usually reserved and entrenched in her work, but right now, just now, she was only thinking (and rightly so, in Darcy's opinion) about her wedding.

"Ugh, I shouldn't have worn this," Darcy said, shedding her jacket. They had crossed over into the weather anomaly and damn it was weird to be feeling the heat of summer again, when she had hoped to leave it behind. She was definitely looking forward to the weeks ahead of colder weather and snow.

"Yeah, it's-" Bruce stopped, staring at her.

"What? Am I a sweaty mess or something?" Darcy pulled her hair off her neck, wishing she'd thought to bring a hair tie.

"Darcy," Jane's voice had shifted from giggly school girl to serious Doctor Foster.

"What is up with you two?" Darcy lowered her hands and then she saw it, out of the corner of her eye.

"Jane," She said slowly, hoping she was losing her mind, "is my hand blue."

"Yes."

"Fuck."

"Yeah..."

"What the hell is this?" Darcy's palm was a glowing blue circle. She was trying to keep a cool head about it, but fuck, it wasn't every day your hand glowed fucking blue for no damn reason.

"I've seen it before," Bruce said, and Thor nodded.

"As have I. This is the exact blue of Loki's scepter."

"Wow, okay, thanks for clearing that up." Darcy said testily, as Jane took her hand, squinting at it.

"But she hasn't been around the scepter, of course. Nobody has- that's the whole point, right? Of us being here?" Bruce said.

"She has not been around the scepter, but she has been around Loki," Thor said, tilting his head, as though trying to figure something out.

"So what, you're saying that Loki messed with me?" Not a chance. She would trust Loki with her life at this point. Probably a really stupid thing to do, yeah, but he'd had so many chances to use her or hurt her, and he hadn't yet. As the old saying went, if he was going to shoot her, he would've done it already.

Thor shook his head. "No, no. But I think this has to do with Loki's magic."

Darcy worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "Like, he voodoed me up or something?"

Again, Thor shook his head. "I am supposing it was done by accident. Had Loki imparted his magic on you purposely, it would have been much more obvious and much more powerful. Of that I am certain." Thor sounded pretty sure, and Darcy had to agree. Loki had kept himself in check where his magic was concerned.

"If it wasn't on purpose, then-"

"I think," Thor squinted at Darcy's hand, and Jane turned it over again, the blue circle now fading slightly, "that Loki was not able to control it. In moments of heightened...emotions, let us say, he is not always able to restrain himself."

Well, shit. She knew his self-control was as lacking as hers first-hand. His apartment had been ripped to shreds the night they last saw each other, and though Loki was physically strong, it should've been obvious that he'd used some kind of supernatural power to reach that level of destruction, whether he was aware of it or not. She hoped Fury never found out...

Thor gave Darcy a long look- he didn't mention out loud that probably for Loki to transfer some of his magic to her, or whatever the hell had happened, he would have had to touch her, but he was connecting the dots. She gave him a look in reply that seemed to say _um, my intentions towards your brother are pure?_ but she wasn't sure the message was received.

"The scepter." Bruce mumbled, and all three of them turned to him. "It's reason I was even brought to SHIELD in the first place."

"Yeah, and?" Darcy asked, holding back a roll of her eyes. This was so old news.

"When we had it on the helicarrier, it reacted to us. It _fed_ off us. It makes sense that Loki handling it, well, like Clint said. Doors open from both sides. The tesseract and the scepter actually weren't, or aren't, so different."

Jane was nodding, scribbling notes as fast as she could. "So the scepter put itself into Loki, but Loki also put some of his own magic back into it?"

"Not purposely, I'm sure. Just like this," Bruce gestured to Darcy's hand, "it wasn't something Loki knowingly did. The scepter takes things from people. Their heart, their loyalty. The things that matter the most to them." Darcy followed this easily enough- for Loki that was, or at least at the time had been, his magic.

"Then why am I reacting to this? Unless you're saying the scepter is here," Darcy turned around, her arms in a wide sweeping gesture, "then what the hell does this even mean?"

"No, that would be too easy, wouldn't it? The scepter definitely isn't here. But I think it was." Bruce said, and he and Thor glanced at each other. Darcy felt a chill running through her. "It makes sense, actually. It explains why everything is so odd here, why it's all off the charts. You're reacting to the traces of radiation left behind, but only because of Loki's magic." Bruce turned to to smile at her. "Just think, if you hadn't come along, maybe we would have never fit this piece into the puzzle."

"Ah well, everybody has their uses. Not a jigsaw puzzle, though. Too boring."

Bruce was nodding like he was agreeing with her, but about more than puzzles just being blasé. "You're right. Puzzles are just kind of there, once they're finished. There's no sense of competition, nothing to conquer. Nothing to take. This is more like," Bruce spun slowly, drinking in the whole panoramic view below him, "a game of chess. Which makes me wonder," Bruce glanced at Darcy, then rested his eyes on Thor, but it was Jane who finished his sentence.

"What piece Darcy is."

 **oooo**

Bruce had never trusted SHIELD, though he did trust the Avengers. He and Thor were determined to keep those two separate entities. Darcy gathered that a lot of the higher ups in SHIELD thought they had the Avengers at their disposal, which was a pretty dangerous thing to assume. Bruce promised Jane to keep quiet about what they'd discovered, and they all decided that until anything of real use had been found, it should remain between to the four of them, though Thor did say he would have to tell some of it, at least, to Loki. Jane readily concurred. there was no point in keeping him out of the loop, not when he was probably their only key to finding out what was really going on.

When they hiked back to the camp, it was late afternoon, and Maria pulled Jane into the equipment tent. Darcy put her stuff down, washed up, and went over to the mess tent, busying herself with helping prepare dinner. It would be their last night here, and she couldn't wait to get home. Thor and Sam went off for more perimeter checks, leaving Steve and Bruce to keep an eye on things on the ground.

While she helped shape meat balls and chop onions and peppers for the spaghetti sauce, Darcy contemplated the fact that Loki had somehow passed his magic onto her. Of course she should have assumed so...she had felt his essence running through her whole body yesterday. It made sense. She wasn't sure how she should feel about it...honestly, she was just grateful that whatever he had done had been so much help to her.

The rest of the afternoon and evening passed in a haze; all around them cheers erupted when news of Thor and Jane's engagement spread, people eager to join them in celebration. Jane didn't like being the center of attention much, and had seemed happiest when it was just her, Thor, and their truly close friends- Steve, Darcy, Sam, and Bruce, offering their congratulations.

Tonight, Darcy didn't wander out under the stars- no way was she chancing coming up on Thor and Jane doing god knew what. While Thor's spontaneity was good for Jane, Darcy wondered if he wasn't becoming too much of a bad influence on her. Surely the pre-Thor Jane would never have had so much public sex.

 _Not what you want to be thinking when you're trying to sleep, Darce_. So once again, she closed her eyes to the dark of her tent, pulled the sleeping bag tight around her, and drifted off to a place where it was all green gazes and (only slightly) arrogant smirks.

 **oooo**

Maria Hill was, if anything, efficient. She was a hard ass, but Darcy admired that about her. She got shit done, and she got it done right and ahead of schedule. The entire camp was packed and heading out by six the next morning, not a trace of them left behind.

Darcy slept the whole drive back to the city, and when she was dropped off at her apartment for a quick shower and change of clothes, she skipped through the front door, pecked Esau on the cheek, and hurried upstairs to get ready.

She stood in front of her closet, unsure of what she ought to wear. True, Loki never seemed to notice her clothes, and she always preferred comfort over appeal. Wearing something fancy would just make her nervous and she really didn't want to make a fool out of herself today. In the end she settled on her favorite pair of black lace up boots, gray leggings, and a long-sleeved purple shirt.

"Ms. Lewis," Esua buzzed her through the intercom just as she was grabbing a scarf and her bag, "your car is here."

"Be right down." She responded, and dashed out the door.

 **oooo**

Loki tapped the eraser of the pencil against the yellow notebook paper, his eyes straying, more than once, to the clock above the door. Darcy and Jane were nowhere to be seen, and it was rounding on ten-thirty in the morning. He would expect this from Darcy, certainly, but not Jane. Thor was not around either, though that was not unusual. He was often off on whatever errands the Avengers or Fury saw fit to send him on.

Of course there was the slight chance that Darcy was where ever Loki had dreamt her- the open country somewhere? Near the mountains? He scoffed at himself. Impossible, improbable, insane. Probably they were in a briefing somewhere, or perhaps they too had been sent off on silly "business" for Fury.

These were perfectly logical explanations, and his increasing worry was bothersome and unnecessary. Darcy was an adult and it was completely within her right to be as early or late to work as she was inclined to be.

Still, his shoulders lightened and he could feel himself wanting to smile when he glanced up for the eight thousandth time and saw Darcy and Jane at the doors. He stood, and immediately Darcy's eyes snapped to his.

"Hey Loki," Jane said, marching to her desk. "Darce, I've got loads of notes I need to be put into memos. Here's the ones we need sent out to to the other departments," Jane reached into her bag and pulled out notebook pages stapled together, "I'll make the official one to Nick myself. And then these," she now handed Darcy two spiral notebooks, "are for my own file. I know it's a lot, but there's no time to waste. Do you think you can have that done by say, lunch?"

Darcy sighed but nodded. "Hey, as long as you promise it'll be full of trans fats, I can get anything done by lunch."

Jane beamed. "Thanks. I'm thinking something breaded and deep fried?"

"Bingo!" Darcy said, dropping the papers on her own desk.

"Great. I have a meeting with the department from Argentina in like ten minutes, so I'm out. See ya in a few."

Jane scrambled out as quickly as she'd come in, and Darcy spun in her chair to face Loki.

"So, you look like you've had a super productive morning." She eyed his empty notepad and the closed book in his hand.

"Your hair," Loki frowned, "it smells of..."

Darcy wasn't surprised that he could smell her from where he was. Thor had increased senses, it seemed, so it made sense that Loki should as well. "Smoke, right? It usually takes a few days to wash the campfire smell out." Darcy held her bag in her hands, to have something to do with them. She had missed him so much- to her very core. It was all she could do not to rush to him, to press her hands to his firm chest, to feel the melodious heartbeat that had been under her ear two nights ago.

Jesus Christ, she had it bad.

Loki was looking at her now, and she'd never seen that look on his face before- in fact, she would've said it was impossible, but here he was, completely dumbfounded.

"What, don't they camp on Asgard?" Darcy had often wondered what they did for fun in other realms, and had asked Thor for some details, but the guy was such a happy lug that it was hard to get a typical (if there could be such a thing when talking about other fricken worlds) rundown of things like recreation. To Thor, everything was to be enjoyed. It was something Darcy really liked about him; Jane needed somebody like that in her life.

Loki nodded. "Quite."

"Well, lucky me, I got to go camping with Jane, and Thor, and Maria Hill and about fifty other people, out in the middle of basically nowhere."

"Sounds thrilling."

"Just a perk of the job. And now," Darcy waved Jane's papers around, "I get to spend the rest of the day trying to read Jane's horrific handwriting because she's obviously from the 1600s and can't dictate her notes into the app I downloaded on her phone like, three years ago."

"How lucky she is to have you, then." Loki said, his lips pulled up in a half-smirk.

"Oh my god, I know. You all are."

Loki said nothing, but he watched her as she spun back to her computer, put in her ear buds, and started to get to work. His mood had exponentially increased with just her presence, with just her being in the same room.

Energized, he picked up the pencil and began writing down passages from memory, from the books he had been pouring through the past two days.

 **oooo**

Two hours later, declaring to need a break from the world of science lingo and bad cursive, Darcy made them both coffee, though Loki rarely drank it. They were standing at the back, sipping from their mugs in thoughtful silence, when Jane walked in. She motioned for Darcy and Loki to follow her. "It's not deep fried, but Thor's ordered pizza if either of you want any."

Darcy nodded vigorously. "I'm going to wither away if I don't get some carbs like, stat. So I'm in."

Loki gave both girls a long look, then nodded once. Darcy smiled, and Jane looked taken aback, but she too grinned. "Great. I'll just grab a few things from here and meet you up there."

Darcy and Loki walked out the door, side by side, and when they were in the hallway, which was deserted in the lunch-time rush, Darcy grabbed his sleeve. "There's something I have to know. It's really no big deal- okay I mean it is, it's a huge deal, but I don't..." She checked over both their shoulders, and seeming satisfied that they were in fact alone, she pulled him down so she could whisper in his ear. "I don't want you to get in trouble. Did you shoot me up with some of your mojo?"

Loki pulled away so he could look at her, his expression blatant bewilderment. Darcy rolled her eyes, then held out her palm, hoping he'd take the hint. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she gave a frustrated growl. "The other night, when we were having dinner. And you, you know, touched me?" She held up her palm again, and Loki nodded slowly. Darcy felt like she was trying to explain simple addition to a kindergartner, "did you put some of your magic into me?"

Loki's eyes widened, and she knew he was, for the first time since she'd met him, completely clueless.

"I didn't think so," Darcy didn't know whether to feel relieved or not. So okay, Loki hadn't done anything to her without her permission, but she'd gotten some bit of comfort (however perverted it was) at the idea that Loki had put some of his magic, his essence, as Thor had described it, purposely inside of her. Like, way to skip all three bases!

"What in Hel's name are you speaking of?" Loki demanded, loathing what he didn't understand. Well, he could just join the club.

"Guys, wait up!" Jane called from down the hall, and Loki stiffened. Darcy waved her wand dismissively; "Jane's got all the 411. We can talk, but not here, maybe?"

Loki nodded and Darcy linked her arm through Jane's, following her to the elevator.

 **oooo**

Darcy shut the door firmly behind them all. She was unsure where to start, but Loki spoke first.

"Perhaps we ought to discuss what I have been, ah, up to, while you apparently were away. I was put to an errand- a rather droll one, but somewhat enlightening all the same. I have been-"

"Researching gamma for Fury." Darcy mumbled, and Loki sharply turned to her, meeting her eyes. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but he was as shocked as she was that she had the answer. Well, he'd told her himself, hadn't he? Then...he really was with her the other night. However the _fuck_ that was possible, Loki had been there, Loki had held her, had perfectly fucking unhinged her. What in the hell was going on around here?!

"Yes," Loki said, and he tore his gaze aware from Darcy to look at Jane. "And while it would seem fascinating, it is quite the opposite. Oh, surely it is amusing to read up on human discovery of these things, of nuclear weapons and the experiments and conclusions of radiation damage and the scrambling for control...however I think I know why Fury, and SHIELD, is so desperate for the information."

Jane nodded solemnly. "And more so, why you weren't allowed to come with us. Your...incarceration aside, of course."

Loki seemed amused by that, and a half-smile crossed his face. "Yes. They do not want it known that they suspect the scepter is still here."

"And they don't want us to know that they're looking for it." Jane said hotly. "How am I supposed to do my job if they're keeping stuff from me? What, they think _I'm_ a security threat? They practically begged me to take this job!"

"Probs not you, boss. But Loki and Thor..." Darcy trailed off.

"Most assuredly you as well," Loki disagreed, "as you are and Thor are now considered one and the same." Loki raised a palm towards Jane's ring.

"So what, I'm the only one who isn't a threat?!" Darcy seemed offended by that. She could be a badass rebel too!

"No offense Darce, but you have a big mouth. If it weren't for Tony debugging our places, who knows what SHIELD would have on all of us." Jane was teasing, but Darcy was alarmed to learn that there had been bugs in the first place. In Thor and Jane's apartment? Where they lived and showered and had sex?! SHIELD was seriously sick!

"Loki's too. Tony sweeps them every few days while we're at work. So far it was just the one time, but we can't be too careful. Anyway, let's get on with it. So this thing happened on the mountain back there, in Area 86," Darcy tuned out as Jane explained everything to Loki- Darcy's reaction, Bruce's initial findings bringing them there in the first place. What if Tony had missed some mics or cameras, and they had picked up Loki's escapade the other night? Surely they hadn't, or else Fury would've had him caged up long before now...

"And we just aren't sure of anything at this point, which is the most frustrating thing of all. Thor and Bruce don't trust SHIELD, and let's face it, if they stole my work once before..." Jane shrugged, as though that settled the matter in her mind.

Darcy fell onto Jane's sofa, exhausted. Camping took it out of her, but this was more than just physical exhaustion. Jane walked away, into the kitchen, and Loki came over to her, holding his hand out. "May I see?" He asked, and she looked up at him, wondering if, like her, he had thought that night had just been a dream. But if so, he'd dreamed it, too- holding her and looking up at the stars with her, teasing her. That was a good thing, right?

Darcy wordlessly held out her hand, Loki's nimble fingers turning it over, tracing the same pattern on her palm he had that night that now seemed so long ago. It was all she could do not to let her eyes flutter shut, not to let a satisfied moan escape her lips. She hadn't realized it until now, hadn't really been able to identify it, but Loki's touch was like the cold water over a burn, soothing her, putting an irritation that had been buzzing at the back of her mind to rest.

"You feel it, do you not?" Loki murmured, in a voice too quiet for Jane, who was in the kitchen getting down plates and cups, to hear. "The _thril_."

Darcy let out the breath she was holding. "Do you?"

Loki moved to sit next to her. "More than you can possibly know." He looked to make sure Jane was still busy, then slipped a small black bottle out of his pocket. He pushed it into her hand, his eyes widening slightly when the blue circle that Darcy hadn't stopped thinking about appeared on her palm.

Pocketing the bottle again, (Darcy didn't even want to know where he got it or what it even was- the less she knew, the less she could implicate herself) Loki turned her hand over, studying the back of it, his index finger gliding smoothly over her knuckles. She didn't say anything, as he seemed to be deep in thought, and truth be told it felt so amazing to have him touching her again, she almost held her breath to keep still.

"Intriguing to say the least." He muttered at last.

"Loki," Dacy said slowly, looking up into his green eyes, "what does this mean?"

Loki sighed, curling his fingers over hers, closing their hands over the fading light. "Nothing good, I think."

Darcy swallowed thickly, trying to keep her breathing steady. "Should I be scared?" Nobody had told her how she fit into all of this- oh sure, there were speculations, and anyway Darcy wasn't worried about herself- she knew she was low on the totem pole and that it all- the reaction, her being near Area 86 in the first place, etc- was a big coincidence. No, she was truly worried for her friends, for the Avengers, for Jane, for the world as a whole. Fury was often saying that trouble would come around, no matter when or how. It seemed he was right.

She licked her lips and closed her eyes, letting the solidity of Loki's hand around hers ground her, keep her from slipping into full-blown panic mode. She'd been on the verge of it ever since her hand had gone all Avatar, but she'd managed to push it back, keep it at bay, thus far. She planned on continuing that trend.

As if knowing her train of thought, Loki's hand tightened around hers. She opened her eyes to find that Loki was looking a her like he never had, and she was pretty sure they'd been through the run of emotions- anger, annoyance, humor, desire, fascination, _intensity._ It took her a moment to place it, but she'd seen Thor look at Jane so many times like that...Loki was staring at her protectively.

"As of yet, there is nothing to fear. If there were, however, I think you will find you are in precisely the right company to dissuade anything that comes your way." Was he talking about SHIELD? The Avengers? Himself? She'd take door number three, thanks.

"Thor said you did this by accident."

Loki nodded slowly.

"There was a moment back there, on the mountain. When I felt you _through_ me. It helped me so much...like you were really there with me."

"It...helped you?" Loki asked, his tone disbelieving. Darcy's heart squeezed in her chest; Loki truly had no idea how good he could be. That he was so flabbergasted that he was helping instead of hurting said so much about how he saw himself.

"Like, a ton. I thought you did it without me knowing."

Loki shook his head. "To some I would use it without their consent, true. Mostly for...not so pleasant means. However, you, Darcy..." He lifted a hand, running a lock of her hair through his thumb and index finger, "no, not you. Although for it to have to passed to you, you must have been perceptive to it. You must have wanted it." The _must have wanted me_ was very much implied in his tone, but he didn't say the words out loud. Maybe he couldn't bring himself to. But why? Was it not crystal fricken clear how she felt about him? She all but handed her heart to him two nights ago, under the stars. But...if Loki saw himself so negatively, it would be almost impossible for him to think anybody would care about him in such an intimate way. Or at least without a lot of convincing. Simply put, he was afraid of rejection.

Darcy nodded. "Isn't that obvious?"

Loki tilted his head, his eyes searching hers, like he was trying to find the truth. Well, there it was! She'd never much liked keeping her feelings to herself. Darcy lived life at full force, or at least tried to, and that meant no regrets because she never held anything back. Dammit, he'd never doubt that she liked him, nope, not on her watch.

There was a banging knock at the door, causing Darcy to jump.

"Get that will ya Darce?" Jane called from the bedroom. "It's the food."

Darcy stood, but Loki pulled her back to the couch. "Sit." He said, and went to the door himself.

Loki brought in the pizza boxes, having slammed the door shut on the pizza delivery boy, and Jane had plates ready for them. Thor showed up a few minutes later, devouring an entire large deep dish meat lovers, washing it down with a liter of root beer. Jane watched him tenderly, and Darcy could only think that damn, that must be true love. Watching Thor stuff his face was enough to make even the strongest of stomachs churn.

 **oooo**

The days and weeks seemed to pass in a blur to Darcy. Jane, and Erik (occasionally with Thor in tow) took off for varying places around the world, the Area 86 puzzle remaining at the forefront of all their minds, but Jane having a lot of other work to attend to.

As time went on, Darcy began to feel less stressed about it all. With being gone, Jane had entrusted more of the lab's functions to Darcy, so she was as busy as she'd ever been. More time in the lab meant more time with Loki, and she considered this the best perk of her job.

Here, with usually just the two of them (Bruce and Tony came and went as they pleased, as usual), Darcy felt that Loki was getting more and more comfortable with her. She often went to his apartment after work for dinner, and they always spent their lunch and coffee breaks together. So maybe they weren't dating, officially anyway, but Darcy spent more time with Loki than she did anybody else and she was as content as she could ever remember being.

It was a bit frustrating, however, as Loki didn't seem inclined to push things along. There were still the long looks, the touches- they'd fallen into a rhythm of light intimacy (Darcy could never bring herself to think of it as "cuddling"- cuddling and Loki just didn't seem to mesh well)- she'd lay her head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her, or he'd toy with the ends of her hair while they watched a movie, or talked after work. When she had to leave and head home, he'd brush his knuckles down her jaw, or sweep his thumb across her lips. Electricity spiked through her whenever they were close, whenever he touched her. The blue circle on her hand only showed occasionally, when Loki took out the the small black bottle. He was attempting his own research on the matter, but from his frustrated grunts and large amounts of eye rolling, Darcy gathered he wasn't getting very far.

Still, Darcy couldn't complain. Her life was as peaceful and happy as she could remember it being, and she woke up one day to find the city outside blanketed in snow, and with a jolt she realized that it was merely a few days before Christmas. Whoa, had that much time really passed?!

Arriving at the lab, she was dismayed to see she was alone; Loki wasn't there yet, which usually meant he was off doing this that or the other for Fury, and typically she didn't see him on those days. While he was doing better than ever with his manners where the rest of SHIELD and the Avengers were concerned, Darcy had realized that on days when he'd been dealing with them instead of just her, he needed his space and time alone. Damn. And there was the whole trifecta of Christmas movies on TV tonight she'd wanted to show him. How could she call herself a decent person if she didn't make Loki watch Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, and Home Alone? She'd just have to find them on DVD. As long as they squeezed them in before New Year's Day, they'd be alright.

Darcy put her stuff down at her desk, then went into to the back to switch on the coffee maker.

"Oh my god!" Darcy abruptly turned, shielding her eyes. Jane and Thor were there, hidden by the cupboards, and from the looks of it, trying to climb each other. Jane was sitting on the counter, her legs wrapped around Thor's waist. Thor had one hand lost in Jane's hair, the other up her shirt, and Darcy was pretty sure the Chitauri could be attacking again and they wouldn't have noticed a damn thing. As gross as it was to see her best friend's tongue in Thor's mouth, she had to admit it was pretty cute how into each other they were. Yep, they definitely needed to get hitched.

"Okay, enough! Don't make me get the hose!" Darcy yelled, and both seemed to realize that they weren't alone anymore.

"Oh my gosh, Darcy!" Jane cried breathlessly, dropping her legs and wiping her mouth. Thor tried to smooth Jane's hair down, and he yanked his hand out from under her shirt.

"Yeah, hi, welcome back to earth. So for future reference, if you want to bone in here, hang a tie on the door knob A, and B, Clorox wipes are under the sink so please, for the love of god, clean up after yourselves."

Thor and Jane glanced at each other. "Our apologies, Darcy. We...were unaware that you would be here this early."

Darcy raised an eyebrow. "Early? It's nine-fifteen. I'm actually late, and you two need to get a room. That's not anywhere near me."

"I must go," Thor frowned, helping Jane off the counter, "I have a meeting of sorts. Jane," Thor raised Jane's hand to his lips. "I shall return as soon as I am able." Jane nodded, still breathless. Darcy had to admit, she was a bit jealous. If only _her_ Asgardian prince was as touchy feely...

"Darcy." He nodded at her and gave her a roguish wink.

Darcy rolled her eyes, but she was laughing. "Good to see you too, big guy."

They waited for the coffee in silence, then Jane poured them both a mug, and went over to the window, Darcy following. Snow was falling, and on street posts were wreaths, tied with bells and big red bows. On the sidewalks people were bundled up in boots and heavy coats, carrying shopping bags.

"Isn't it beautiful? The city at Christmas, with snow...it doesn't get any better, does it?" Jane asked, her smile wide and her eyes bright. Of course, everything was more amazing to Jane now, what with her getting to marry her soul mate and all, but Darcy had to agree with her. Jane went to her desk, Darcy trailing behind her.

Was Loki watching the snow, she wondered? She assumed that where Thor was going, Loki was there, too.

"What's your favorite thing about this time of year?" Jane asked, taking a pencil from a drawer and jotting something down on a post-it.

"Hard to pick, I guess." Darcy murmured, her thoughts still with Loki. There were so many things she wished she could show him! The tree at Rockefeller Center, the caroling troupe of Santa Clauses back in New Mexcio that had once raised ten thousand dollars for a new homeless shelter, a carriage ride through the huge lights display at the city park... she was so bummed that he'd never get to experience those things, that he couldn't be a part of the festivities, of the spirit of the season. Darcy wouldn't call herself religious by any means, but for her, the holidays weren't about that. They were about love and laughter and charity and eggnog (double the booze) and listening to her grandpa complain about how much everybody else in the family complained.

It was-

 _Oh._ Oh!

She knew exactly how to answer Jane's question, and she knew exactly how to have Loki be a part of it.

Darcy pulled out her phone, grinning ear to ear, almost unable to contain herself as she sent off the text message. A split-second later her phone buzzed, and she opened the reply message, punching her fist in the air in a triumphant gesture.

 **oooo**

A few weeks before, Darcy had indeed gotten the promised check in the mail from Tony. It didn't come alone, though. It was a check for three thousand dollars, a small bonus (as was written on the memo line), and Darcy's mind had immediately gone into overdrive, thinking of all the things she could do with 3k.

And along with the check was a slim piece of card stock, where Tony had handwritten:

 _1 IOU. You can cash one, not both. Choose well._

 _-Anthony Edward Stark_

Darcy was no fool. She wasn't so broke that she would discard a personal favor from Tony flipping Stark for something as common as money. How many people could say they had Iron Man ready and willing to do something for them?!

So now, Darcy knew exactly what she wanted to use this for, and it was something that really only Tony could have pulled off anyway. Beanie in place, Darcy pulled her gloves on, wrapped her scarf around her neck, and made her way to the roof.

 **oooo**

There was a rapt knock on the door, and Fury turned, obviously annoyed. "Nobody's here." He replied, wondering what use a guarded door was if the guards weren't doing their damn job.

"Oh Nick," Tony flung the door open, shaking his head. "I thought were past all that. We're besties now."

"What do you want, Stark."

"How much time have you got?"

"We're in a meeting here," Nick indicated Thor and Loki, who were both watching their exchange with amusement.

"Yeah, I see that. Hey, hi. Whatever. Foster sent me and I need-"

"Jane? Is something the matter?" Thor stood abruptly.

"No worries, big guy. I'm not here for you. I'm here for the not-as-big-guy." Tony waved his hand flippantly at Loki.

"What exactly is the problem?" Nick asked, and Tony shrugged.

"I didn't ask for details- too boring. Let's go Lokes, time is money." Tony said, but Loki remained seated.

"Look I'm not a delivery boy, okay? But Jane and Darcy need your help so here I am. If you want to come great, if not, deal with them."

"You had best see to it, brother. I shall finish here with Fury." Thor urged Loki on. Loki stood, and Tony applauded.

"It does move! Fantastic. This way." Tony gestured for Loki to walk out of the room first.

They silently got on the elevator, and Tony mashed the button for the top floor. Loki looked pointedly at him, wondering what he was doing- his ankle bracelet would not allow the elevator to go higher than the lab and his apartment.

From his inner jacket pocket, Tony pulled out a small device that looked like the USB cards Darcy and Jane were always using at their computers. Locating the nearly invisible port above the elevator buttons, Tony slipped the device in. "Override security, protocol B."

"Access granted, sir." Loki recognized the voice of JARVIS, and he raised an eyebrow at Tony, who only winked back at him.

"Show the readout back into the lab."

"Done, sir."

"Thanks pal. Here we are." The elevator opened onto the top floor. It was abandoned, the hallway quiet. Tony pushed open a glass door that led onto the outdoor patio. There was a set of stairs leading down to a lower level with benches and a grill, and a set of stairs leading up to the helipad, where two SHIELD helicopters sat idle.

"You have," Tony shook his sleeve up, revealing a rather gaudy, diamond encrusted timepiece. "Half an hour. Nothing off the roof, understand, and any damage will come out of your allowance, young man."

Loki raised an eyebrow, but Tony was all self-assured smirks, his joke amusing to himself. He walked back to the door. "Oh, and Lokes?" Loki could feel an eye twitch beginning to form, but he turned back to Tony anyway. "Duck."

 **oooo**

He heard the cry first- a sort of war cry, he supposed, but then he should have really known better. If ever there was somebody on this planet capable of such a screech, it was definitely Darcy.

Then the snowball smacked him upside the head, cold and wet splattering all over him.

"Batter up!" He whirled around towards her voice, and saw Darcy hunching by a bench, one arm cradling half a dozen snow balls, the other arched, ready for another toss.

She pelted him with two, one right after the other, the first hitting him in the chest, the second his knee.

The war cry again. "Strike two! One more and you're out!"

All the pieces fell into place- Darcy putting Tony up to getting him from his time-out with Fury, Tony disabling the security band for a time, a silly snow fight on the roof. Yes, this was all perfectly Darcy. And once again, here he was, able to bask in her madness.

"You are dealing with a warrior, Darcy- are you sure you want to bait me?"

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him, mashed her remaining snowballs into a giant one and lobbed it with all her strength over at him. He stepped back and it hit the ground, breaking around his feet, but her challenge was received. "Bring it, Laufeyson." She said, then ran, sliding in the snow, towards the trash can, where Loki saw she'd built up another arsenal of snowballs.

Unable to stop a grin, he ducked down, gathering his own snow in a pile.

 **oooo**

"What?! You're literally in so much denial you should be air dropped into Egypt." Darcy said incredulously, hands on her hips.

Loki spread his arms out in front of him, a haughty smirk on his face. "Dearest Darcy, I cannot help it if you are incapable of matching my speed and skill. Such is the fate of all mortals."

Darcy tried to glare at him, but she broke out into a chortle. "Yeah yeah whatever. Anyway," She grabbed his hand and lead him over to a large, flat pile of snow. "It's time for the best part." She closed her eyes and fell, back first, onto the ground.

Loki looked down at her as though she'd lost her mind- typically how he looked at her, if she thought about it.

"Ugh, come on!" She sat up and tugged on his arm.

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly."

Loki heaved a dramatic sigh, and he too sat, but Darcy shook her head.

"No no no. You have to fall. Like I did. Arms out, like a T, okay? And then straight back."

"Darcy, I-"

"Quit your bellyaching Loki. It's fun!"

Another sigh, but Loki did as instructed, and landed with a _thom_ beside her.

"And now?" He asked, as though he failed to see the joy in laying in a pile of freezing snow

"Like this." Darcy said, and she flung her arms and legs out, moving them slowly. "See?" She stood, showing off her handiwork. "A perfect snow angel."

"You are asking me, Loki of Asgard, heir to the throne of not one but two kingdoms, bringer of destruction, destroyer of worlds, to make a snow angel?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Wow, what a mouthful. Now zip it and get with the angel making."

Knowing there was no use in arguing, Loki finished and also stood. His angel was slightly messier than Darcy's, a bit awkward, but Darcy beamed at him like he'd just created a true piece of art.

"Mind-blowing, right?" Darcy said, and Loki looked down at her, her raven hair tangled with snow, her cheeks pink from the cold, her smile so bright. What was it about this girl, about this human, that could drive him to do such things? He, Loki! Loki Laufeyson who created plans of mass conquer in his dreams, who had driven an irrevocable wedge between himself and Odin, who was here, at the mercy of SHIELD and Thor's Avengers.

Mind-blowing indeed, that she should have pushed down his barriers, that she had taken the time and put forth the effort- often at the risk of injury- to get to know him, to try to understand him. She had befriended him, she had shown him affection, had taught him more about earth than Thor ever had.

"This was my favorite thing, you know." Darcy's voice was quiet, low with reminiscing, as she gazed at their creations. "We'd go visit my grandma over Christmas- she lived in Wyoming. They always get a butt load of snow, right. Me and my cousins would go nuts, playing outside all day, then we'd come in for dinner, and while the adults got smashed on grandma's eggnog, we'd play Monopoly or Clue or Scattegories, all of which I dominated at, by the way. I think that's what I miss about home. Not where I grew up...that will never be home to me. Grandma's was, though. Christmas at grandma's, playing in the snow, and gorging myself on leftover ham."

Darcy's smile was a large as ever as she looked up at Loki. He stared back at her, a hunger in his eyes she knew all too well, having seen it in the mirror many times, usually after she'd gotten home from his place.

"Merry Christmas, Loki." Darcy murmured, as Loki wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him.

He lifted her chin with his finger, and Darcy was pretty sure she'd stopped breathing as he leaned closer to her, his lips now only centimeters away- oh Christ, finally, he was going to kiss her, finally she could stop wondering what those lips felt like, what they _tasted_ like...

"Aaand that's a wrap kids. Sorry, but your time is up!" Tony, spectacularly clad in his Iron Man armor, jumped down from the top of the stairs and started clanging towards them.

Darcy and Loki sprang apart, Darcy rounding angrily on Tony. "It's a damn good thing you're in that thing," She seethed, stomping past him. At the door she paused, turning back to see that Loki's eyes were still on her. She smiled at him, then disappeared inside.

"I _am_ glad I'm wearing this. Word of advice, Lewis is prone to violent outbursts. Not good news for the male anatomy. So, you're a thing now?" Tony asked Loki, who ignored him and followed Darcy's footsteps up the stairs and through the door.

In the elevator he punched the button for his floor, and once it stopped and the doors opened, he removed from the port the card Tony had put in on the way up, then swept to his apartment. His ankle brace acted as his key, and the door swung open.

He strode to his kitchen, opened his refrigerator, and took stock of its contents as the wheels began to turn in his mind.

 **oooo**

"No, mom, we're not eloping." Jane looked at the ceiling, hoping the Universe would do her a favor and it would collapse in on her. What was she thinking, even calling her mom to let them know about her and Thor's engagement? The one time they'd met was nothing short of disastrous. As usual, Thor had been ridiculously charming, handsome as hell in his jeans, scuffed leather boots and flannel shirt. Her no-nonsense mother hadn't taken to his boisterous personality, and after a few traded insults about "foreigners", Jane and Thor had left as quickly as possible. But, well, Thor had been guilt-tripping her for weeks, telling her that her mom had a right to now her daughter was to be married. Jane secretly felt that Thor was transferring some of his guilt onto her; he hadn't asked her mother for her hand as proper decorum dictated.

Her mom babbled on about guest lists while Jane walked the length of her and Thor's apartment, trying to keep pace with the conversation but really just thinking about what needed to get done on the back of her and Erik's most recent trip.

There was a sharp rapt on the door and Jane, seizing the opportunity, interrupted her mom, who was now on a tangent about rented dresses versus buying your own. "Yeah sounds great mom. Look, I gotta go, I'll call you later. Love you." Without waiting for her mom to argue, Jane hung up and opened the door, almost dropping her cell in surprise when she saw who it was.

"Loki? Hi! Is everything okay?"

Loki nodded, and Jane still hadn't quite adjusted to seeing him wear regular clothes. He did it with as much grace as he could, she had to admit.

"I was wondering," He began, a grimace on his face, as though he had no idea how to say what he wanted to, "if you and Thor would, ah, be so good as to join me this evening. I will be cooking."

Loki had often eaten with them, Thor making it a point to invite him over all the time. He had not, though, ever returned the invitation.

"Uh, sure, wow. That'd be great. Can we bring something?"

Loki, again looking pained, handed her a slip of paper where a list was scrawled. "If you have in your possession these...any of them, or something similar, will do."

"Sure, I'll see what I can scrounge up." Jane said, trying not to show too much curiosity at the items he needed.

Loki's lips curled in a disgusted way over the words, but he managed a tight-lipped "Thank you". She went to close the door, but he added, "and belated congratulations, Jane. You make Thor-" Loki stopped and took a breath, "you make _my brother_ very happy." And with a single nod he strode away, back to his own apartment.

It was the first time he'd said it to her, that he'd acknowledged her and Thor's upcoming marriage. Thor had told her that Loki had actually been the one to suggest a ring, in and of itself a massive astonishment. Jane was always sure that Loki despised her. She didn't take it too personally, or at least tried not to, as he seemed to feel that way about most everybody. So this was a huge deal to her, and she felt light-hearted as she dug through the hall closet, searching for the items on Loki's list.

 **oooo**

Darcy had her earbuds in, angry rock music blaring as she slammed her frustrations at Tony out on the keyboard. She was inputting more of Jane's data and notes, and it was getting late, most of the SHIELD employees having left much sooner as Christmas was quickly approaching. On a regular day even, the halls and offices and cubicles were usually cleared out by five, and as it was pushing six thirty, Darcy wasn't surprised to see zero foot traffic out the lab doors.

Tony was an ass. Yeah, okay, so he'd come through with the IOU, and he hadn't asked any questions, he'd just done what Darcy had asked, helped her work out an elaborate plan that, if it had gone awry, could've gotten her arrested, probably sent to the hole (whatever that really meant), and Loki, well, he could just kiss Midgard goodbye- he'd be on the next Bifrost to Odin before she could say bilgesnipe.

 _But_ how would Tony like it if she interrupted such a goddamn ideal moment for him and Pepper? She'd been dreaming about Loki kissing her since- well, since the night of that cocktail party, so long ago.

Well, there wasn't anything she could do about it now. She'd gotten what really mattered out of it. She had wanted to give Loki a small getaway, to get him to let loose for a while, to have fun. Darcy couldn't say if he really had, but the complaining had been minimal. She'd discovered that if he didn't harp too much on what he didn't like about a movie or TV show, that meant he'd enjoyed it. Same went for snowball fights and snow angels, it seemed.

Darcy pushed herself away from the computer, stretching her arms. She needed a coffee refill, and then she'd be able to plow through these last few pages of work before heading home. She took her mug back to the coffee pot and made a mental note to bring more of her vanilla creamer from home. Steaming mug in hand, Darcy dredged her way back to her computer, giving a jolt (and nearly spilling coffee all over the floor) when she saw the hot pink post-it stuck to the middle of her computer monitor. It definitely hadn't been there before.

 _7\. Do be on time._

Okay, then. Maybe not heading home just yet.

 **oooo**

Promptly at seven, and a titch annoyed that Loki would dare insinuate that she was ever anything but on time, she knocked on his door, wondering what, exactly, he would have in store.

The door opened. "7:02. It shall have to do." Loki said by way of greeting, letting Darcy step past him.

"I don't know what you're-" Darcy stopped in her tracks. Loki's apartment was decked out like she'd never seen it before. Around the windows were strings of colored Christmas lights, and in the corner of the room was a six foot artificial evergreen tree, silver and gold ornaments and tinsel glinting at her. Wreaths hung on the walls, and the TV screen was tuned to a screen saver of a cackling fire, giving the whole room a cozy glow.

"I did not say it earlier," Loki's voice was almost a whisper, "I thought showing you would be better. It is more tangible this way. Merry Christmas, Darcy."

Darcy glanced around, incredulous. Jane and Thor were on the sofa, chuckling together, setting up a Scrabble board. On the end table was a bowl of what she could only assume was eggnog. The kitchen table held a beautifully scored ham, complete with pineapple rings- just like her grandma used to make. Quiet music poured from the surround sound, a soft jazz compilation of Christmas songs.

"This is _wonderful_ ," Darcy mumbled, visibly moved.

"I do not get a lot of shopping opportunities." Loki said, his trademark smirk on his face. "I wanted to give you some of what you described earlier...some of the home you miss."

Oh shit, she was going to cry! How sweet was this? Like, did it get any better? She may have wished earlier that Loki was as forward as Thor, but really, this was exactly what she wanted. Did it matter that Loki wasn't as over the top with the PDA as his bro when he was showing, as he had so much in the recent past, that he actually _listened and understood_ her? Thor was exactly what Jane needed, and Loki was exactly what she herself needed.

"I am sorry that we do not have, what was it? Monopoly? And of course none of your relations are here."

Darcy shook her head vigorously. "This is better. Much. You guys...you guys are my family now." Darcy grabbed his hand, threading her fingers through his. "Thank you, Loki."

"Oh Darce, hey, I didn't know you were-" Jane and Thor finally realized they weren't alone, and Jane looked over at her, her eyes nearly disappearing into her hairline when she saw her and Loki's hands entwined, "-coming." "Wait a minute," Jane stood, squinting, something she did when she was trying to work through a problem. She scanned the table- the four places neatly set, the bottle of champagne beside the ham, the game she and Thor had just set up on the coffee table, then Darcy and Loki again. "This...this is a double date!"

Darcy waited for Loki to vehemently deny it. To toss Jane's comment aside with ridicule and make some deprecating remark about humans. But he just stood there, not confirming or denying. His silence seemed to say it all.

"This is a most surprising turn of events, brother." Thor said, though not as shocked as Jane. He had long hoped that Darcy meant something more to Loki than a casual acquaintance, and had, especially since the field research trip, suspected Darcy felt the same.

"Let it never be said that I stopped surprising you." Loki replied, but there was less sarcasm in his words than usual.

Darcy pulled Loki towards the coffee table. "Time to get destroyed, bitches! I _own_ at Scrabble."

 **oooo**

The evening passed as nicely as Darcy- or Loki- could have hoped. After a few rounds of Scrabble (which Darcy lost each time, despite how big a game she talked), they ate dinner, and between the four of them, easily finished off the bowl of eggnog and the bottle of champagne.

Jane and Thor were getting ready to leave when Thor clasped Loki's shoulder.

"You have changed, Loki. This is what I had been hoping for when I decided against fath- Odin's- orders. You have shown great growth, great transformation. You are my brother once again, and I think it only fair to request from Fury that you stay on Midgard. Permanently."

Darcy rushed to Thor, throwing her arms around his middle. He would stay? Loki would stay, as in forever? She could kiss the god in front of her! _Well, better leave that to Jane_ , Darcy released Thor and turned to Loki, clapping excitedly. He regarded her with an unreadable expression.

"What say you, brother?" Thor pulled Loki's gaze away from Darcy.

Loki let out a small breath. "It would not be a terrible thing to at least ask, I suppose."

Darcy's face lit up, and Loki thought it was _almost_ worth humbling himself before Fury for her to smile like that.

He was only agreeing to this ridiculous plan for his brother's sake. But if it made Darcy Lewis look at him like he _wasn't_ from the very depths of a nightmare, well, so be it.

 **Lyrics used from Fear and Loathing by Marina and the Diamonds. So, a few things:**

 **-Darcy and Loki haven't discussed the "dream", because they are both unsure of what it means for their relationship, and what it means period. Basically they're both chicken shit.**

 **-Area 86 will definitely be coming back into play- think of this as the calm before storm. Yay.**

 **-I too am chicken shit because I could never write a decent Jane/Thor proposal. So it kind of had to happen off-screen. Sorry about that.**

 **-I'm shutting up I promise :) I just want to thank all of you for your feedback of this story. I know updates are few and far between, but you really help motivate me and push me to get this fic out into the world instead of just in my head. Heart eyes at each and every one of you.**


	6. Bonus Chapter

**Bonus Chapter: Scrabble, aka The Devil's Butthole**

 **I had several requests for this so I thought, why the hell not. I plan on adding a few other "bonus" chapters to this story, just odd moments between all the characters that I didn't fully explore in the regular updates. If you have a request for a particular moment, let me know! I can't promise that I'll do every one of them, but I will give it my best damn effort.**

 **Skipari is, according to Google, a Norse origin word. If it's incorrect in any way, well, blame Google. I myself haven't played Scrabble in about, oh, ten years, so I may be rusty on the rules and game play. Try to enjoy it anyway.**

 **This is ridiculous, far too short, an insult to Scrabble, and terribly unfunny. I'm so sorry.**

"You haven't lived till you've played Scrabble in a psych ward." -Artie Lange

Jane was glaring at him over a battered dictionary. Clearly it had been used many times in aid, and judging from the beaten state of the game board and the fading ink of the letter tiles, this thing, this _Scrabble_ , was a favorite of his soon-to-be in-law.

"It's not in here." She flipped the book around, practically shoving it under his nose.

"No," Loki drawled, "I should think not. It is, after all, an Asgardian word."

"What?!" Darcy almost choked on her popcorn in indignation. " _Not_ fair, you can't use words from a place we aren't even in! We're on planet earth, remember?" Her words were starting to slur but she had made her point, dammit.

"Surely it is just-" Thor began, but Loki held up a silencing hand. As if he needed his brute of a brother to defend him against two inebriated Midgardian girls!

"If you were to play with, perhaps, somebody from China, would you tell them they could not use Chinese words? That seems to be very discriminatory." Loki said, shaking his head as though he was ashamed of Jane and Darcy's behavior.

The girls exchanged a glance. "Oh shove it!" Darcy cried, reaching for her nearly-empty glass of eggnog (her third, Loki noted).

"I concur." Jane said, her arms folded across her chest. "The fact is, you aren't Chinese, and anyway, if this mystery player could provide a Chinese dictionary then-"

"Exactly, great point Jane, all the props." Darcy clutched her glass, heaving herself off the floor and onto one of the armchairs Thor had moved in from his and Jane's apartment for extra seating. Smacking her lips after a long sip, she made herself comfortable, flinging a throw pillow away, where it promptly smacked Loki in the face. Jane grabbed at Darcy's knee, hysterical, struggling for breath. Thor covered a booming laugh with a violent cough. Loki balled his hands into fists, pursing his lips together in an effort against retaliation. A candy cane hurled from the bowl on the end table would serve perfectly to dislodge all of the letter tiles on the board before him, effectively ending the game. Alas, no, this game would end justly, he was determined to see that through. What was the term? Cooler heads would prevail.

Darcy continued, "Where's the proof, hm? I mean, aren't you the same bafoon that challenged my dactylion? Seriously, like I wouldn't know everything there is to know about the middle finger!" Darcy sloshed eggnog on her shirt and absentmindedly wiped it away, trying to keep her eyes focused on Loki. Shit, she was buzzed. She was in that sweet, fuzzy spot, the liquor coursing warmly through her body, making her feel completely at ease, a smile plastered on her face that wasn't going away any time soon. She still couldn't believe that Loki had thrown all this together, and just for her. Tony may have fucked up their kiss, but this was shaping up to be the best Christmas she could remember, even if Christmas was technically still a few days away.

Loki narrowed his eyes at her. "Spell bafoon."

Darcy opened her mouth, then closed it, opened it again, then shut it firmly. Thor's massive shoulders were shaking, she could see, from the effort not to laugh out loud. Oh, they were both dead, these stupid gods. It was their fault to begin with that she had drunk so much, and anyway she didn't need to prove that she could spell any damn thing that wasn't in the game, and even that was starting to get questionable.

"Darcy isn't the one under fire here," Jane said, coming to her rescue. "You are. Since you're on earth, we'll stick to earth words, and- what was it?" Jane tried to focus on Loki's tiles, but her vision was slightly blurring.

Loki gritted his teeth, his lip curling. "Skipari." Why in Valhalla had he _ever_ thought this was a good idea? The pleasure and fun of the afternoon had clearly turned his judgment to swill.

"It sounds like really bad sushi or capris you wear skiing which, obvs, makes zero sense." Darcy said, ignoring the ladle in the glass bowl and dipping her cup directly into the remaining dregs of eggnog.

"Skiing?" Thor squinted, sounding interested, and Darcy's eyes almost rolled out of her head. Now Thor was picking up Jane's mannerisms? Puke.

"Ugh, not now, Thor. It's my turn anyway. Sorry Loki, but no dice." Darcy leaned in closer, making a grab for her tiles, trying to pull together a word. N, G, D, S, L, I, O...shit. She was sure there was a word in there somewhere, and maybe sober Darcy could find it, if only sober Darcy wasn't three, going on four glasses of eggnog and a very generous flute of champagne away. Not to mention that being near Loki for any extended period of time, with his ridiculously alluring smile and charm, was enough to make anybody punch drunk. So if she was going to add it all up, she'd say sober Darcy was actually more like, three going on four glasses of eggnog, a flute of champagne, and two shots- make that double shots, she mused, as the tree lights blinked at her- of tequila away.

"Any day now Darce," Jane nudged her, and Darcy struggled for a moment longer before deciding it was hopeless. And when it was hopeless? Well, then you fucking faked it til you made it and went all in. Nothing wrong with a little overconfidence. It had fooled many a professor, and even slid by Jane a few times. Surely she could pull it off for two lugs who had never even played the game before. Piece of cake. Damn cake sounded good.

Right, the game. Okay. She gave her best, I'm-not-that-drunk grin and carefully placed her tiles down.

"There we are. D-o-s-l-i-n-g."

Loki's jaw actually dropped. Bam! Score one for Darce. She indicated for Thor, who was keeping score, to tally her points.

"Do you truly expect us to believe that is a real word, let alone the correct spelling of it, if it happens to exist?"

Darcy's brow furrowed- what? He totes believed her not even one second ago! Hadn't he? Ugh, stupid alcohol...emI take that back. I'm so sorry, alcohol. You complete

"It is a real word. In fact, it's quite a common word, of Nicaraguan origins if you must know. We used to toss it around in my Comparative Religions class all the time."

So, she'd never taken a Religions class and she certainly was less than savvy about any of the happenings of language in Nicaragua, but it sounded good. At least to her ears.

Thor looked confused, like he wanted to believe her, but couldn't quite make that commitment. Loki just looked plain scandalized, as though Darcy were befouling something sacred.

"She's right," Jane chimed in, giving Darcy a sly smile. Loki's eyes were nearly slits, now, as he reached for the dictionary.

"Oh you won't find it in here," Jane said matter-of-factually, clutching the book tight, "this is from 2006. Dosling wasn't added until 2010."

Loki and Thor were both glaring at them, Loki disbelieving that Jane, who clearly was a gifted player at this particular game, would lie for Darcy to earn a few points. They were all playing for themselves, so Jane would have nothing to gain. Thor, on the other hand, was becoming more and more alarmed that Jane and Darcy had joined forces and were ganging up on them; there weren't many favorable outcomes when that happened, as he had witnessed too often. Being their victim was not a pleasant experience. Ah well, at least this time he was not alone.

"Search it on your mobile phone, then." Loki said, indicating Darcy's cell on the table.

Darcy, Jane, and Thor all lunged for it, but Darcy was closer. "Oh shucks, would you look at that?" she batted her lashes innocently at Loki, "battery's dead. Isn't that just rotten luck?"

"As you so correctly stated before, if you cannot prove the word exists, then you do not gain the points." Loki smirked in triumph.

"Wrongo bongo, as usual," Darcy declared, "you couldn't prove it because two of us had never been to Asgard before. You and Thor, obviously, have been to earth. It's not our fault if you dunderheads-"

"Now now, there is no need for derogatory language..." Thor broke in, but was promptly ignored by all three of them.

"That logic is psychotic." Loki stated, wondering just when exactly he had lost so much control of his life. Who could have guessed that the time he would have felt the most powerless would not be when he was beaten to a pulp by a mutated monster, nor when a cuff was strapped to his ankle, keeping him chained (with the one exception of the cocktail party that seemed so very long ago, which had been a special favor to Thor on Fury's behalf, an act of goodwill) to SHIELD? Or even when he had dangled from the Bifrost, begging for his father's love and acceptance? No, it was here, with Darcy, whose blood alcohol level could land her not just in a jail cell but most likely, if her pillow flinging was anything to go by, in a padded, police-escorted transport on its way to an institution for the criminally insane. Here, with Darcy and Jane and Thor, playing a ridiculous, utterly stupid game that was designed so the players could not cheat yet Darcy, as audacious as ever, was trying to play he and Thor for the fools they clearly were.

"Okay, pot." Darcy mumbled, causing Jane to chuckle again. She tipped her cup back, downing the last of her drink. "Look, you lose, Loki. Not only are you out a turn because your word is totally fake, but I just landed on a triple word score as the last turn in our last round. Which makes," Darcy banged on the coffee table in what was supposed to be a drum roll, "me the winner. So I'm the boss of you," Darcy shakily stood, attempting a victory dance, pointing at Jane, "I'm the boss of you," then at Thor, "and I'm _definitely_ the boss of you." Darcy wobbled over to Loki, narrowly missing the foot of the coffee table and falling to her knees in front of him, her breath catching in her throat at the sight before her.

Loki's dark hair had fallen over one side of his face, his bottom lip pink, moist, pulled between his teeth. It could've been the booze, but Darcy was positive she'd be breathless here before him, bourbon or no bourbon. His eyes, vibrantly green and cat-like, followed her every movement, enticing her, pulling her to him. It was like there was nobody in the room with them- nobody in the _world_ with them- just him and her and their dizzying closeness.

Thor cleared his throat loudly, and Darcy was about to pick up the punch bowl and chuck at him. God, did these Avengers specialize in cock blocking? Jesus! Then she saw him holding up the notepad he'd been keeping score on, his big dumb face smug and boastful.

"No." Darcy scrambled to her feet, reaching for the pad.

"Hands off the spoils, Darcy." Thor yanked it out of her reach.

"Are you telling me that even after the legendary Sling- um, Doiing-"

"Dosling," Jane mentioned helpfully, and Darcy bowed to her in thanks, "right, Dosling, I still lost?"

Loki let out a sigh that was half aggravated, half amused. "I would say that _because_ of an astonishingly dreadful attempt, nay, make that atrocious-"

"Hey! Stop using words with more than two syllables, okay?" Darcy rubbed her temples, plopping on the couch in between Thor and Loki, pushing Thor away with a severe jut of her hip.

Loki looked down at her, bemused. "This was actually your idea, if you recall."

"Actually, my idea had more mistletoe in it." His vibrant gaze was back, and Darcy swallowed thickly. "Anyway, I would never want Thor to win at Scrabble. Like, in what Universe is that even feasible?"

Loki chortled, and Darcy rested her head on his shoulder, watching as Thor and Jane high-fived at his win. Thor took Jane by the hand and led her over to the windows, where they began talking in low voices, watching the lights of the city and the light snow fall.

"Loki?"

"Hm?" He sounded content, almost sleepy. She felt the same. She could probably spend all night here, curled up against him, warm and happy.

"Is the room spinning?"

"Alright," Loki gently pulled away from her, "you need something more to eat than just empty carbohydrates." He pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Jane as well," Thor piped up, and Darcy turned to see that Thor was carrying Jane to one of the arm chairs. The two girls grinned stupidly at each other. Well if they were going to drink too much, at least they had awesome chaperons.

Loki busied himself in the kitchen for a moment, Darcy transfixed with the pattern of colored lights on the walls. He finished and brought plates for them, heaped with ham sandwiches made from the leftovers of dinner.

"Did you put-" Darcy began, but Loki waved her off.

"I am not a simpleton, Darcy. I would not dream of preparing you a ham sandwich without dijon mustard." He set the plates down on the coffee table, then sat beside Darcy, urging her to eat. It was probably then and there that Darcy knew she was in so deep there was no climbing out. And she had no problem with it, was, in fact, fucking ecstatic about it. It wasn't just the drinks talking, no, today had shown her a side of Loki she knew had to exist, but had never been able to fully see.

"Protein will soak up the sugar." He said knowledgeably, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. God, a girl could used to this, to being taken care of, to being thought of and considered and put first.

"Can I get a drink to go with this? Whiskey, neat?" Darcy asked and Jane almost spit her roll out from laughter.

"You are, what was the term? Ah yes, _cut off_. Water or milk for you. Both of you." Loki said severely, and she and Jane tried not to look at each other, certain they'd both crack up and spew food everywhere.

Loki stood to get napkins, Thor following him. Jane started to say something about Maria and Rhodey, but Darcy was straining to hear what was being said in the kitchen.

Almost too quietly for her ears to pick up, Darcy heard Thor say, "Merry Christmas, brother."

 **See you in the next chapter!**


End file.
